Inspire Me
by Antique.Clockwork
Summary: Rising to the top as a famous writer, Orihara Izaya is in the middle of one of his works of art, ready to blow away his readers like never before. However, reaching into the unfamiliar territory of 'love' has him stumped. "Inspire me, Heiwajima Shizuo."
1. Rubbish

Aromatic and exotic coffee beans floated in the forms of thin, steamy tendrils, coaxing many into drinking the intoxicating sip of caffeine while baked goods accompanied its sinful lure. The small chatter of humans and clinks of spoons against cups and plates filled the roomy café, and the jazz music set a calm atmosphere that many people loved to enjoy, be it morning, afternoon or evening. This was the perfect atmosphere to sit down and just observe, intake, and _watch_ his lovely humans.

With papers scattered about him in an 'organised' mess, Orihara Izaya sat with his rectangular framed glasses perched on his nose, a finger curled around the handle of a short black that kept his mind stimulated while he concentrated on the screen of his laptop. The calming music around him did nothing to ease his agitated nerves, though the amazing espresso shot might have soothed him a little bit. A half eaten lemon tart was pushed to the corner of the table, and the echoing voice of his daunting editor simply echoed in his head, which was what inspired his unstoppable 14-hour writer's block.

Frowning, his brow furrowed and his lips twitched downwards, a look that was rare upon Izaya's face, but still existent.

"_What is this?"_

"_Dear Namie, it's another one of my fantastic works of course!" an arrogant Orihara had said smugly, fingers laced together across his stomach as he leaned comfortably in a leather chair that most people would not have been able to afford as easily as he._

"_It's rubbish," the woman scoffed, throwing it back down onto the desk that separated the man from woman. Current man blinked owlishly, unused to hearing her say something condescending or 'rubbish' about his work. Sure, there were begrudging 'it's alright's or 'it's okay', but never _rubbish.

"_Excuse me?" he asked, disbelieving. Finally having found something to irk the pompous ass of a writer Yagiri Namie crossed her arms with a smirk and leaned against his desk haughtily._

"_You heard me. It's _crap_."_

Ujnhnyujyhujnh-

Words of gibberish littered his 'rubbish' work as Orihara Izaya head butted his keyboard several times over, cursing himself to be so weak at such a crucial time. At the top of his prime, well known for his sickening yet suspenseful novels, he was holding a name in the top author's list, his first books becoming best sellers in a matter of no time. Deaths, torture, homicide and detectives was his fort, but at his prime, in his rising fame, he wanted to try something _new_, something _different_, something-

"_Rubbish."_

And apparently something rubbish.

Watching his fascinating humans from day to day was a great hobby, an inspiration in which he could observe different perspectives, reactions and personalities, and form one charming, exclusive character that screamed 'I was made from Orihara Izaya's hands'. However, this time he was shot down by his editor, sniper style.

"_What do you mean, it's _rubbish_?" Izaya hissed, unused to being criticized so bluntly. Namie pinched the bridge of her nose, knowing that this 'you're actually not better than everyone in the world' talk would not be easy to drag Izaya down from his pedestal. _

"_Izaya, crime was your fort, what made you go to this genre that is _totally_ alien for you?" Scoffing as though she had asked 'do you know what 2 + 2 is,' Izaya twirled his chair halfway around away from her._

"_My silly humans have all fallen at least once for this disgusting trap that lures them in, lulls them into a dull sense of security, fools every single one of them, and yet in the end, they crash and burn. I find that most interesting, my dear Namie, and I was planning to incorporate that into my recent book which you just called_ rubbish!"_ Spinning back around, Izaya glared at his editor angrily. He would have none of those wishy washy publishers publish _his_ works of God, no, he would only have the best. Nor would Namie work with wishy washy authors, she would only work for talent. But the two at the moment seemed to be clashing and conflicting quite harshly as Namie sighed._

"_Izaya… you've never fallen in love before have you…"_

"_If you mean I've never formed a disgusting incest love for my younger siblings, then yes," Izaya grinned, exploiting his editor's little secret fetish. Bristling at this, Namie took a defensive stance._

"_You wouldn't understand, no, you _don't_ understand, which is why you can't incorporate _love_ into your books!" Namie snapped at him._

"_But Namie! This emotion is the worst of them all! It leaves you with pain physically, emotionally and mentally, it eats you from the inside out, it _destroys_ you, all of which I think I am quite good at writing! What's wrong with my interpretation of this stupid word _love_?" Leaning close, Namie bared her teeth._

"_See, that's the _exact_ problem here Izaya. Your interpretation of love is love as a _word_."_

"_But I just told you all its effects and-"_

"_That's all you see. That's all you know, because that's probably the closest you've ever _been_ to love, which is _miles_ away. You don't know love, and you _can't_ write about it!"_

"_I've assisted suicides, I've ruined some people's lives, I've watched humans struggle without helping them, I haven't _murdered_ anyone, and yet my crime novels have reached the top best selling charts. If I haven't murdered anyone, how can I write about it-"_

"_You've read enough research, you've slaved away for hours in libraries all over Tokyo, you've watched it, you've heard it, it's _everywhere-_"_

"_So is love-!"_

"_But you've barely gone near love. It's foreign territory to you; it's something that apparently, just doesn't exist to you, but to other humans. You only observe humans that are suffering, and because of that, your character, who is in love, is just fake. It's disgusting, it's useless, it's wrong, and it's rubbish." Steaming from practically telling a child that 'people can't fly', Namie straightened herself, grabbed her jacket off the top of Izaya's luxurious couch, and left for the front door. And just before she slammed the door behind herself to leave the infuriatingly frustrating and inexperienced 'child'-_

"_Just improve your writing, or don't write about love at all."_

Which led to Izaya sitting in his position now, head banging his keyboard until some brilliant idea bounced out of nowhere. Which of course usually came naturally as the sadistic man was talented like that, but unfortunately, not this time.

_But of course I know love! How dare she say I don't know what love is, I love all my worthless humans! _Fuming quietly in his own comfortable seat in the charming café that had a small antique, French feel to it, he attracted the attention of a few passing baristas and workers. The sound of rustling gained his attention when someone sat on the seat opposite to him, breaking his furrowed concentration.

"Writer's block?" a deep voice chuckled.

Izaya grunted and collapsed onto the side of his laptop. Kadota Kyouhei laughed at his middle school buddy and lightly clapped him on the shoulder, dressed in a loosely buttoned white collar shirt, black slacks with a lengthy black apron covering from above his belt downwards.

"Come on, what happened. This rarely ever-"

"Never," Izaya grouched.

"Okay, _never_ happens to you. What's up?"

"Dotachin, what's love?" Izaya asked quickly, snapping back up into a sitting position. Blinking at the sudden question, Kyouhei laughed. Irritated and seething, Izaya glared at his long time friend. "I'm being serious, please don't laugh at me." The words sounded kind and slightly agitated, but Kyouhei knew Izaya was probably fingering his flick blade right now. Settling himself down to chuckles, Kyouhei just smiled and ruffled Izaya's hair.

"You're not ready to write about that stuff yet-"

"Why does everybody say that?" Izaya huffed, throwing his hands into the air disbelievingly. "I'm a 21 year old grown man, I've watched everyone fall out of love, and using this in my next crime novel would make the ultimate badass psychotic killer! Luring humans into a false belief of love, and then breaking them right before their eyes before killing them, I have it all planned out, a fantastic psychopath! But-!"

"Listen to yourself Izaya," Kyouhei said calmly. "You watched everyone fall out of love? That doesn't sound like love to me, that sounds like heartbreak-"

"It is-"

"But that's probably just it. You've gone through your parents divorcing each other, you watch humans suffer as a hobby, and this is_ exactly_ why you can't write about your victims falling in love. All good writers need to know their stuff, to drag their readers in, as if _they_ _too_, are the victims. But if you've never seen love, how can you write about it?" Scoffing, Izaya pouted angrily, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair.

"If humans have never seen God, how can they have so much faith in him?" Izaya said scathingly in his atheist point of view.

"Some humans have visions," Kyouhei replied calmly.

"Well I have had visions of love, I bet I could write a _bible_ on it."

"You need to have faith in it first."

"Faith in love? Or faith in God. Why should I have faith in something I can't see?" Izaya argued exasperatedly. Kyouhei just smiled at him, feeling affectionately a little sorry for the boy he's looked after for 8 years. He reached over to ruffle his hair again, to which Izaya slapped his hand away.

"This is exactly why. You're too blind and naïve-"

"I'm sorry, has God been sitting next to us this whole time? I didn't _see _him," Izaya voiced with heavy sarcasm.

"Faith is believing in what you can't see."

"That's just stupid," Izaya hissed. "Why would I stoop down to such a human level and believe in what I can't see." Kyouhei shrugged.

"Some people, once you have faith enough, begin to start seeing things they couldn't see before."

Izaya silenced himself, pursing his lips and glaring at Kyouhei, signaling he was done-too stubborn- talking. Kyouhei stood up, chuckling.

"You're just not ready. Keep that psychopath in mind, and when you can write about love, bring him back out and become a millionaire. For now, just stick with psychotically crazy killers, you're good at that aren't you?" Rolling his eyes and muttering a distinct 'I'm good at everything,' Kyouhei left him alone to brood. Sliding his plate of half eaten lemon tart towards himself, he unwillingly forced forkful after forkful into his mouth and then let the fork clatter onto the plate. Chewing as though he was a child forced to eat his broccoli, Izaya continued watching his humans, sitting for the past 4 hours to see if he could observe love from any wandering couples.

He just didn't understand, what was wrong with his interpretation and writings of love? He watched couples snuggle together, feed each other cake, share the same mugs it was all the same! What was wrong with what he wrote and what he saw? What was he possibly lacking-

The ring of a bell signified a customer entering the small café, which grabbed Izaya's attention immediately. Possibly a new couple which could give him a new insight? A couple that 'knew' what love was? However, the new customer was none of those, and Izaya did a double take. Dressed in a navy blue button up rolled up to his elbows, a white singlet that hid underneath defined his toned body, while black slacks confining long, model-like legs. Eyes the colour of pure honey gazed around the room quickly before settling on Kyouhei, messy sandy coloured locks gracing his beautifully handsome face.

_A model?_ Izaya inquired day dreamily before snapping out of his trance quite embarrassingly. _What the hell was that, I've seen good looking people before. Hell, I own a mirror!_ Izaya thought haughtily before holding a cautious face and turning to look at the man once again. The blonde spoke with Kyouhei briefly before nodding and scratching the back of his head awkwardly, and bowing slightly. Kyouhei laughed and clapped his back, showing him forward towards the counter. _Oh, _Izaya thought curiously. _A new worker! This should be interesting._ Having come to the café years ago when it first opened, Izaya knew all the workers quite comfortably and attaining a new employee was quite rare.

Sighing, Izaya knew he was wasting time, procrastinating his life away as his new novel begged to be written. Grabbing his signature fur lined jacket off the back of his plush chair, he quickly waved to Erika and Walker who stood at the front counter, and made brief eye contact with the new employee. Ringing, the door bell signified his leave and Izaya sighed once again, drawing his jacket tighter around his skinny form. Winter was coming soon, and his new novel was supposed to be in its climax right now, but _no, _his work was rubbish. Snorting, he blended into the late night crowds of Ikebukuro and sought for the underground subway to head back home to Shinjuku, in his toasty loft with high-end furniture he could sink into.

_Just you watch Namie, Dotachin. Everybody. I'll find out what the stupid deal about love is, and once I do, I'll break it down until it shatters to pieces,_ Izaya vowed in his mind.

_And then when I do, everything will fall under my control again._

_Just you watch._

* * *

><p>This is my second DRRR! fanfic, seeing as I seem to have formed a deep affection for it, this idea came to me while I was being educated about the struggles of Germany post-world war I. :

Hope you enjoyed the first installment, I enjoyed writing it actually :) I'll try to update weekly for both my stories but until then~

Reviews and Criticisms appreciated!


	2. Nice to meet you

Tapping his foot impatiently with his eyes darting from around the room back to the watch on his wrist, Izaya continued to watch in pain as Kyouhei seemed to be taking his time with his long black today. With practiced hands that could make coffee like a God, Kyouhei's eyes were closed, completely relaxed with a content smile on his face as he took his _sweet time_.

"Dotachin, I asked for a long black, takeaway, not a long black slave away!" Izaya snapped nervously. Kyouhei resumed his pace as though he never heard the incessant nagging, but laughed when Izaya called out '_Dotachin_!' exasperatedly.

"Izaya, we both know you're not late to anything, you're just having a nervous breakdown," the coffee barista said lightly. Bristling as though the fur and hairs on Izaya's body and jacket stood on their ends furiously, Izaya's mouth opened and Kyouhei sighed.

"What? Of course I'm not _late_ I'm just wasting my fruitless time when I could be spending it with my precious baby laptop and typing away at my _story_ instead of watching you take your damn time with _my_ cup of coffee- _god dammit Dotachin_!" Kyouhei laughed at this and capped the take away coffee cup, handing it to Izaya whereas the shorter male snatched it and handed down the exact change. "You're so damn annoying when you want to be," Izaya hissed before he pivoted on his heel and bumped straight into a brick wall.

Rubbing his nose with his free hand, Izaya cursed and peeked open his eye to look straight into-not a brick wall- a toned chest that peeked out from the café uniform. His gaze followed the chest upwards-though that gaze may have lingered there for a moment too long- and dove straight into honey. Drowning, Izaya gulped before tilting his face down to cover his blush, and cleared his throat. He muttered a bitter 'sorry', before hurrying out of the store.

Quizzical, Shizuo looked at the man that seemed to be in a rush and turned to the lax expression of his friend behind the counter.

"…Customer complaint?" Shizuo voiced, broom in hand. Laughing, Kyouhei shook his head and waved it off.

"You could call it that, I guess. Just a friend of mine who is having a few troubles at the moment. Don't mind him, he's a frequent regular." Nodding blankly, Shizuo turned to sweep the side of the store he hadn't reached yet, contemplating on trivial matters such as 'what should I have for dinner', whereas a few blocks down, a writer contemplated 'what the hell is love.'

* * *

><p>The next morning, Namie swiped her card key through the door and entered the passcode she had memorised off by heart, convenient for those times when she had to hound her 'fantastic' writer to make it for a deadline. After hearing a successful beep and watching the mechanical security device's light turn green, she turned the handle and entered the luxurious complex, pocketing her spare card key.<p>

"Izaya?" she called out, scanning the room for any signs of her obnoxious little writer. Frowning, she glanced at the plain clock on the wall, and headed towards rooms that he could have been lounging in. "Izaya, where are you? This is no time to be playing a damn child's game." She sweeped her hand over the stair railing as she climbed to the second story of the loft, and turned left into the bedroom down the hall, only to find-

Twitching, a handle of her handbag slipped down her shoulder as she glared angrily at the lump that hid under the covers in the dark of the room, despite the fact that it was 11 am.

"You have got. To be kidding me," Yagiri Namie deadpanned, though no matter how many times she blinked, the lump with still there, under the bed, unmoving. A muffled complaint reached her ears just barely, but she was too busy slowly becoming furious at her unmotivated 'lump in the bed', all blinds and shades effectively blocking the sunlight from filtering into the room.

"Namie, I said I'm not feeling well today, leave!" the muffled voice came again from under the covers, most likely from a peephole that made enough room for the head to come out. Dropping her bag and marching straight towards the lump, Izaya raised his defenses to 'turtle under attack' and gripped his sheets around his body like his life depended on it.

Which it did, at the moment.

"ORIHARA IZAYA GET OUT OF THE BED NOW!"

"No!"

"IZAYA!"

"No!"

"IZAYAA!"

"NOOO!"

Covers were tossed about, struggling became violent and curses were thrown back and forth, a childish and sulking Izaya finally dragged from his covers by the scruff of his full pajama cow body suit, complete with a hood.

"I can't believe you, you little shit, how fucking _old_ are you?" Namie hissed, surprisingly strong for a woman her size. The fluffy body suit only seemed to emphasise his immaturity, beady cow eyes staring up at her. Hell the thing came complete with fluffy hoof slippers.

"Old enough to write rubbish!" Izaya harrumphed, sticking his nose into the air with his arms crossed, causing the cow's head to fall back and reveal Izaya, which made it look as though he was temporarily eaten and thrown back up again. And thus, despite its cuteness and its beady eyes as Izaya flipped it back up again, she began her lecture.

"I am your editor for a reason, I am one of the toughest, best workers in the publishing industry there is out there, and you, I took you for a damn good reason Orihara. Just because you can't write one genre doesn't mean it's the end of the world, grow the _fuck up-!_"

"Ahem…"

An intruder's voice cleared their throat, shocking both the lecturing nanny and the stubborn child who stared at the doorway to the bedroom. Standing with a small piece of paper with address details in one hand, and a helmet under the other arm, a steaming cup of –godly smelling- coffee attracted the immature two's attention to the cup, then back to the stranger at the door. Eyes widening, Izaya realized it was the new employee that joined Dotachin's café 5 days ago.

_Well… this is embarrassing._

"Um… the door was open, and no one was responding… so I uh, came in. This is from Kadota," the handsome man said, handing the coffee towards them. "He said he was worried 'you didn't pick up your phone.' So… um…" Trailing off awkwardly, he stood there, arm outstretched, coffee cup in hand. Judging by the perfect blend and brew smell the coffee gave off, it was Izaya's usual long black.

The tension from earlier seeped into extreme awkwardness as no one made a move for the coffee, only stared at one another. Glancing at the dresser next to his position at the door, the tall blonde glanced back and forth and began to slowly set the coffee cup down, as though any sudden movements would bring the monster woman he witnessed from just now back.

"I'll... leave it here. Good day." He nodded once and power walked outside of the apartment. The sound of a door closing politely was heard from the living room, and Izaya could feel Namie's grip loosen.

"Well, at least my coffee's here! How nice of Dotachin, such a caring friend-" Izaya sang happily, skipping towards the dresser where his coffee sat. However, his bedside lamp flew past his head and straight out the window.

"OBNOXIOUS LITTLE-"

* * *

><p>Awkwardly standing in the elevator on his own, as soon as the doors had shut, Shizuo collapsed his head onto his forearm, which rested on the mirror wall beside him. Covering his face with one hand, his shoulders shook as a blush overcame his face.<p>

_Moo_.

_What…_ Shizuo questioned himself in his own mind as the elevator passed several floors leisurely. _What the hell was what…_ Without knowing what to expect when Kyouhei had asked him to make a little personal delivery, Shizuo certainly did not expect to see _that_.

Held by the scruff of the hoodie's neck, a dejected looking _young man_ gazed up at Shizuo from his position on the bed, though it looked as though he was going to be dragged off it had Shizuo come any later. However, the man's face was swallowed by an unbelievably cute, fluffy body suit that looked like a cow, a rare sight that Shizuo had never seen in his life. Standing beside him, with a manicured hand that dug into said cow's neck, stood a strict, but pretty lady who seemed to be the 'I don't take bullshit' kind of person. Despite the comical situation Shizuo had found himself in, the two certainly knew how to make a delivery boy feel awkward.

A slight _ding_ had alerted Shizuo he reached his destination as he straightened himself, but still covered the bottom half of his face with a hand, the awkward image of a cow retaining the blush on his face. Sighing, he exited the exquisite apartment/penthouse complex and continued to think of his schedule for the day, desperately trying to forget that _fucking adorable cow._ Shaking his head, Shizuo stood right beside his motor scooter and raised his helmet, about to place it on his head.

Shizuo had little to no warning as an ornamentally modern bedside lamp made its presence known by smashing against the back of his head just before his helmet made it. Pausing, Shizuo stood still for a few moments in silence as passersby that had witnessed the event gasped and spluttered, wondering how on earth that man was still standing. Feeling a rage bubble from within himself, Shizuo's brow twitched, and a cynical twitch of his mouth upwards made itself known.

"_Shizuo, stop!"_

_Breathe, Heiwajima. Breathe,_ Shizuo forced through his head. Taking slow breaths and calming himself, he forced the screaming voices out of his head.

"_Shizuo, __**stop!**__"_

Once he opened his honey-glazed eyes again, the lamp that shattered to pieces was forgotten as Shizuo clipped his helmet on, and started the engine of his blue scooter.

Sometimes, Shizuo wished the peaceful life was suited for him.

* * *

><p>Ringing, the bell above the door was triggered as a regular customer stepped inside the toasty and familiar café, sparking a smirk out of the assistant manager.<p>

"So, the cat returns to the cradle huh?" Kyouhei jested as a hissy Izaya stepped towards the counter.

"Shut up, I'm not in the mood," Izaya snapped, handing down the exact change it cost for his usual takeaway long black. Laughing, Kyouhei knew his little writer friend was being greatly affected by his writer's block, and wasted no time in creating the perfect blend of espresso that would somewhat soothe the frazzled person's nerves.

"I thought Shizuo delivered your usual over to you in the morning?" Kyouhei questioned, capping the drink. Izaya huffed at the embarrassing memory of being caught in his 'moomoo' pajamas, and then scoffed.

"I just need another one," he said moodily, mulling over the name in his head. _Shizuo huh?_ Izaya muttered a quick goodbye to Kyouhei, who waved in turn, and left the warm café to venture into the bitter chilly streets of Ikebukuro. He hurried towards the subway line that would take him home, and boarded the train as soon as the doors had opened. After the messy and crowded bustle of humans had passed and Izaya settled himself against a pole adjacent to the train doors, he took a long sip of his coffee and sighed. Grateful for the coffee intake, Izaya closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax, taking in the chatter of humans around him, the beeping of mobile keypads being pressed and the distant cry of a baby in another carriage.

A small bump in the smooth railway track took Izaya off guard as he bumped into the person behind him accidentally. The jolt was rather hard, and sent Izaya practically straight into the person's back. Almost spilling his coffee-thank god he didn't, he certainly wasn't in the mood for coffee flavoured shirts- he heard the sound of a thick book falling to the ground, and spun around to quickly apologize.

"Oh shit, sorry-" and as he bent down to help the person crouched on the floor to pick up the book, he was shocked to see his face staring up at him. A small picture of himself was settled on the inside of the book cover, which appeared to be one of his famous books, 'Hide and Seek'. He raised his now arrogant filled eyes to make eye contact with whoever appeared to be a fan of his, but once again did a double-take. Blank, honey eyes stared back at him in shock, a warm scarf wrapped around a certain handsome blonde's neck.

Looking down at the author's picture, then back at the person in front of him, Shizuo's eyes widened.

_Orihara… Izaya… this man… all along?_ Shizuo asked in his own head, trying to grasp the concept that his favourite author of all time was a regular customer at the café he worked at. His hand no longer functioned to pick up the book, but rather, his gaze followed the pale hand that picked the book up for him. Standing slowly at the same time, Izaya had a puzzled look cloud his face as he watched the totally spaced out café worker stare at him.

But the spaced out stare became a full out blush that spread from the tousled blonde's cheeks to the tips of his ears.

_Moo._

Tilting his head to the side, Izaya's face furrowed into a questioning glance as he wondered '_why are all my encounters with you so awkward?'_ Clearing his throat after his blush had settled to a dusting on his cheeks, Shizuo began to awkwardly struggle with something to say.

"Um… I'm sorry about that, I… just remembered something." As Shizuo avoided eye contact, Izaya realized he was referring to his 'moomoo' suit. Soon a pink dusted his own arrogant cheeks before he cleared his throat and held out his hand, his confident persona kicking in.

"Well, how about we get past that, and I introduce myself properly?" The cocky grin threw Shizuo off guard, before he could feel a familiar irritation bubble inside himself at the arrogance that he had little tolerance to. "Orihara Izaya, spectacular and wonderful crime-novel writer, brilliant, handsome and intelligently so." Shizuo's brows furrowed as his lips set into a firm line, conflicted at how he should feel about meeting the author he's been a great fan of for a while now. He took the hand into a firm grip and shook once as he grunted a response.

"Heiwajima Shizuo… pleasure to meet you." Izaya's brows raised and his lips twitched upwards at the manners and etiquette this man had. _How cute_ he cooed in his mind, totally forgetting the stress of his writer's block as it was lifted from his shoulders.

"Finally, we've been properly introduced it seems. And! A fan of mine, are you?" the writer questioned sneakily, wiggling his eyebrows. Once again, a pink dusted the blonde's cheeks as he nodded, burying the lower half of his face into his scarf.

"Uhh… yeah…" Having spent only a few minutes with this man however Shizuo knew that if he said 'oh this is my 5th time rereading this book actually', the man's ego would probably knock the train right off its railway line. Smiling, Izaya leaned back giddily, knowing that his works had once again, proven to be excellent.

"Glad to hear it. Always happy to hear that my stories are worth reading," he cheered, rocking back and forth on his heels. "Ah but enough about me, Shizu-chan, what about you? Where are you headed right now?" the social man inquired. A vein popped and a brow twitched as Shizuo stared at the shorter man in front of him. _What the- Shizu-chan?_

"Shinjuku," he mumbled stewing over the new nickname he just received from an almost complete stranger. _Oh well_, Shizuo tried to calm himself down. _Just get off the train at Shinjuku, and then you barely have to tolerate this man again. Oh, next stop Shinjuku, great-_

"Eh? Really? That's great; I'm getting off there too!"

_Fuck._

"Why are _you_ getting off there Shizu-chan?"

_Annoying._

"I'm going to my next part time job," he mumbled from under his scarf.

"Wow~ so admirable! Busy body you are, aren't you? Are you a freeter*?" Izaya asked curiously. Shizuo simply nodded, ignoring the little 'oh we're here!' the little man cheered as the doors to Shinjuku station opened. Shizuo walked out ahead, hoping that the man would say goodbye, leave him alone and-

"OH MY GOD, your head!" the young man screamed. Shizuo turned around to look at Izaya curiously, before touching the back of his hair and realizing a flaky substance was falling off. _What the-_ Bringing the fingers to his line of vision, he noticed it was blood.

_Oh. So that's why people kept staring at me all day-_

"Come _on!_" a voice commanded, before he felt his arm being tugged towards the exit of Shinjuku station. "You need treatment for that!" It took a moment for the thought to process properly in his head, and when it did-

"Hahhh? No! I don't need to, it's fine-OI!"

* * *

><p>After exiting the closest convenience store the pair found, Izaya exited the shop with Shizuo in tow, a bottle of water in hand, along with disinfectant and tissues. Settling down on a half brick wall that acted as a small barricade entrance to a local park, Izaya proceeded to wet Shizuo's hair to get rid of the dried, matted blood that developed over the day. Shizuo had another hour or so to kill before his part time, so he let himself be treated of an injury he didn't even feel.<p>

"Geez," Izaya sighed, dabbing at the blonde locks, which to his guilty little pleasure, was pleasant to ruffle. Not soft like a girl, but almost as soft as a dog's coat. "What the hell did you do to yourself, and how the hell did you not feel it?" After a moment of silence, Shizuo quietly responded-

"You wouldn't believe me." Rolling his eyes, Izaya rubbed the blood out of his hair, and proceeded to wipe off any excess scabbing that might have irritated Shizuo's scalp.

"I'm wiping a whole head full of blood off of your hair, I think I'd believe it," Izaya scoffed, standing behind a seated Shizuo while pouring a small, delicate amount of water onto his head.

"A bedside lamp fell out of a top storey window and hit me on the head."

At the pure shock and irony of it, Izaya accidentally poured the whole bottle of water out onto the blonde's head. An outraged roar escaped Shizuo's lips by instinct as he stood up and whipped around to face the laughing perpetrator.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry Shizu-chan!" Izaya gasped for breath in between words and laughs. Now he knew at least the lamp Namie threw had hit _somebody_. "Hahaha, it's just, no, funny story, that lamp is- hey wait what are you doing?" the laugh skipped to a yelp as Shizuo hoisted the skinny author onto his shoulder. With a head of dripping water and a partially soaked top, Shizuo ignored the complaints and fearful whines that escaped Izaya's lips and continued walking towards his destination despite the kicking and flailing.

"Shizu-chan-" Growl. "Shizuo, okay, seriously I'm sorry, that was an accident, I didn't mean to do that, where are you taking me? Shizu-chan? Shizu-chan! Shizu-AH!"

Unceremoniously, Izaya was promptly dropped from a reasonable height into the freezing cold fountain of the local Shinjuku park and was left to struggle for a few moments as he spluttered and struggled for proper oxygen to enter his lungs without the accompaniment of water. After regaining a common ground in the fountain on his sore ass with his hands supporting him, he could only stare in wonder at the rich laugh that escaped the handsome man's body. Izaya kept staring at the man until the laughs died down to a chuckle, and Shizuo regained his breath.

"Ah, that was good payb-ACK!" a disgruntled Shizuo exclaimed before he too, was pulled into the fountain by a sopping wet arm. And so, after twenty minutes into their spontaneous 'acquaintance-ship', the two spent another forty minutes dunking each other under water, and splashing the other without mercy.

Shizuo had to explain half an hour later why his phone didn't work when his boss tried to contact him, and why his uniform was soaked through and through whereas the next morning, Izaya had a hard time convincing Namie he was actually sick.

Though, needless to say, if anyone had asked either of the two, if they had regretted their little water-fight, both would have been too proud to say no.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Wowee! Finished the second installment of IM, and I'm quite proud of myself actually! I didn't expect this story to get much of a response, to be honest, but when I read my first two reviews, I couldn't wipe that grin off my face. Reviews make me damn happy in actuality, which made me write this story faster. If you can take a hint, my dear readers, you understand what I'm saying right? ;D But anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter!

*Freeter/Furi-ta : a Japanese term that basically means something along the lines of someone who is not employed properly, but has lots of part time jobs.

Reviews and Criticisms appreciated!


	3. Lemon and Honey

Sniffling, wrapped under his covers like a large, oversized sushi roll, the head of a cow peeked out of the blankets, currently thinking that maybe he shouldn't have chosen such a strict editor for his works as said editor hissed at him through the phone.

"Sick? What do you mean you're _sick_?" Coughing lightly, Izaya's head felt clogged and his nose was blocked with the traffic jam of mucus that currently resided in there.

"Sick. When one has come down with a contagious disease or ailment that causes them to cough, sneeze-"

"I know what sick _means_ you stupid little boy," the voice interrupted, making Izaya flinch. "_How_ did you end up sick? And why are you telling me _now_?" Izaya opened his mouth, about to pin all the blame on a certain stupid, handsome blonde until he was once again, cut off. "You know what, forget it, I guess you're human too." Izaya's eyes shone happily and he coughed again, before expressing his happiness.

"Thank you for understanding Namie! This is the whole reason why my work has been so slow too-"

"But I'm giving you three days to recover fully."

And the dial tone happily greeted his ears.

Mumbling, the sushi roll of a body contracted and expanded in complaint as Izaya rolled around in irritation.

"This is your entire fault, stupid Shizu-chan," Izaya grumbled unhappily, face feverishly red and sweat dripping down. The alarm clock beside him flashed the green numbers that told him it was 6 PM. He glanced quickly at the neatly folded scarf that folded itself at the end of the bed, and the red on his face spread further.

"_Here, it'll be cold on the way back. I wrung it dry, wear it and return it to me tomorrow_."

"Stupid Shizu-chan!"

* * *

><p>"Achoo!" Shizuo quickly sneezed, rubbing his nose. He walked over to the wash basin and washed his hands before resuming his work. Kyouhei glanced at his blonde employee and raised a brow.<p>

"You okay? It's pretty cold nowadays, you're not sick or anything are you?" he asked, concern laced in his voice. Shizuo turned to face his assistant manager before forcing a smile and shaking his head.

"Nah. I kept myself warm last night, prevented a cold actually," Shizuo chuckled. Kyouhei scrutinized him for a moment longer before shrugging.

"A_choo_!" Shizuo quickly glanced at Kyouhei, while Kyouhei quickly glanced at Shizuo, and both noticed neither sneezed.

"Long black, now preferably," a nasally blocked voice ordered, muffled by some sort of cloth. Shizuo turned around and barked out a laugh at the sight of Izaya, muffled by a large red scarf covering the lower half of his face and decked in a couple, possibly hundreds, of layers, all topped off by a large black coat and a fur hood. His laugh however was short lived as the black haired man coughed purposely into the scarf, keeping eye contact with the blonde. Realisation sunk into place and Shizuo's temper flared.

"The hell flea? That's _my_ scarf you're infecting with your germs there!"

"_You_ gave it to me, why should you have any qualms with what I do with it?" the smug, muffled nasal voice replied.

"I _lent_ it to you, I didn't know you were going to slobber all your sick germs onto it!" the voice snapped back. The two began bickering and throwing insults back and forth, as Kyouhei found them in a heated argument with a completed long black in his hand. _When did those two become so close…?_ Izaya glanced at his finished coffee and made a grab for it until a stubborn certain somebody grabbed it first and held it high above his head. Grinning wickedly, Shizuo glared down at Izaya as the small mouth made itself known above the red scarf.

To most people, ten centimeters did not seem as though it was too long a length. To pull out a ruler, and draw a ten centimeter line, was no worries. However, as Izaya reached as high as he could, his fingers only found themselves brushing the tall monster's wrists as nasally whiny noises escaped his mouth, jumping and flailing for his much needed coffee-

Ten centimeters, Izaya will tell you, is a damn big difference.

"Shizu-chan, this isn't even funny. This is considered bullying in elementary school, piggy in the middle was only a game name disguised in the playground so teachers would leave them alone-"

"Bah, you talk too damn much, just shut up."

"Give me my coffee!"

"Coffee won't heal your cold!" Shizuo snapped before grumbling and turning around to Kyouhei. Throwing the coffee cup away, – "_SHIZU-CHAN_!" – Shizuo turned to a very confused Kyouhei. "Take this from my paycheck," he mumbled with a tint of pink on his face as he reached towards the assortments of tea. Kyouhei nodded, moving a hand to cover his mouth as he tried to hide the quirk of his lips that twitched upwards.

"Shizu-chan? What the fuck? You hold my coffee above my head, throw my coffee I paid for away, and just turn to _leave_? You ungrateful fat stupid COW!"

_Moo._

Shizuo burst out laughing at the reminder of the author's 'moomoo' pajamas, throwing his head back as an uncaring Izaya leaned over the counter, red cheeks burning, mouth spluttering curses and insults at the man that continued to spoon leaves of tea into a small teapot. Needless to say, in all the time he had known the two as two separate entities, Kyouhei could find instant differences with the picture he was seeing here.

Shizuo Heiwajima, hated violence. That, he knew for a fact. However, the usually subdued and quiet, yet aggressive man did _not_ make the face he was making now for people he didn't know or care for. Kyouhei could say, in all the years of knowing Heiwajima Shizuo, he had never seen such a gentle and affectionate smile on Shizuo's face, the small dash of pink on his cheekbones highlighting the tender aura of it all.

Orihara Izaya was a man that demanded respect. Held authority, an air of confidence and arrogance most were afraid to challenge or even dare to go near. Having known the author since high school, Kyouhei knew of his childish tendencies that he revealed to very, _few_ people, but the childish display he was showing now to a stranger like _Shizuo_-

What happened there?

So as he pondered between the two and the odd scene before him, the picturesque moment that left Kyouhei's mouth drop open slightly left a strong urge in his fingers that just wanted to pull out his phone and take a photo, right then and there. Laughing, Shizuo held a teapot in one hand and with the other, ruffled a furious and pink Izaya's hair, as the shorter male buried his face in the red scarf and crossed his arms angrily.

"You're a cow," the smaller man seethed.

Rich laughter danced through the café while a blushing writer buried his face deeper in the warm scarf wrapped around his neck, blonde locks trembling as laughter escaped the café worker's frame.

And Kyouhei could only stare at the surrealism state of it all.

* * *

><p>"What is this?" a nasal voice complained. Sitting across each other, Shizuo and Izaya took a seat outside of the café to have a quick smoking break. Remembering the little bicker the two shared before exiting the café-<p>

"_Where are you going? Isn't that mine?"_

"_Sit outside."_

"_What for? It's bloody cold! I'm sick, remember?"_

"_I need a smoke."_

"What_? You're going to smoke _in front of me_? How rude! How dare-"_

"_Your nose is blocked you can't smell it anyway. You're sick, remember?" _

-and chuckled before replying.

"Earl Grey tea with lemon and honey. My mother used to make it for me to soothe my throat and clear my nose," Shizuo replied calmly, holding his hand to his mouth with his cigarette perched in-between his fingers, his other arm slung behind the back of the chair.

Trying to sniff the tea that was in front of him, Izaya's blocked nose made a choking kind of sound before he gave up and gingerly held the tea cup in his hands. Slowly, he tipped the cup to his lips and let the hot liquid briefly touch his lips before blowing once and taking a delicate sip.

"You drink like an old lady."

"Shut up! And it tastes horrible!" the nasal voice snapped. Shrugging, Shizuo blew smoke rings into the air, temporarily fascinating Izaya, but bringing his attention back to the blonde once he spoke.

"Too bad. I paid for that, you drink it. It'll help you get better."

Absorbing the heat that escaped the fine, ceramic teacup, Izaya averted his eyes as he continued drinking the odd mixture and choice of tea, but he found he was too sick to properly appreciate it. However, Shizuo was correct when he said it soothed throats, and the citric smell of lemon was slowly making itself known in his sense of smell.

But he wouldn't tell Shizuo that it tasted delightful.

He was much too full of pride to do so.

After a few prolonged sips and the dying embers of flame dwindling in the cigarette's final moments, Shizuo stood from his place and Izaya immediately opened his mouth.

"Where are you going?" Glancing down at the one who inquired, Shizuo shook his head and tucked his chair in.

"Unlike some people, I have to work. Break's over."

Disappointment gripped at Izaya before he angrily shook that feeling away too. _What the hell, why would you be disappointed in such a stupid occurrence? This cold is doing your head in Orihara._

"Fine, leave me out in the cold, heartless bastard. Drag me out then leave me to die-"

"You talk too damn _much_!" the frustrated growl of Shizuo interrupted as he turned to open the door to the café and leave. "Come back inside if you're that cold!" And just before the blonde could enter the glass doors and separate himself from the author he was feeling _uncomfortably _attached to, a quick jumble of words tumbled from the author's lips. Half turned, the blonde glanced down to a blushing black-haired male.

"What?"

"That's my mobile number." And he repeated his onslaught jumble of numbers. Whipping his phone out and making Izaya blink in surprise, Shizuo repeated the number flawlessly out loud while saving it into his phone. At a small ding noise indicating that it was saved, Shizuo grinned, and continued inside the café to resume his job.

And thus the author proceeded to bash his head into the table that he was seated at.

"What the hell were you thinking Orihara? Your number? He's about to leave and you stutter out your _number_! The fuck!" Izaya stressed, flailing in his seat in frustration. "What, in world's name, possessed you to-"

"IzaIza!" a voice cheered, which alerted Izaya he had company. Snapping back into posture in his seat, Izaya glanced up to greet Erika, another waitress at the café. Smiling kindly, he chirped a 'hello' to the quirky woman, still stressing in his mind. Sitting across him, she linked her fingers and propped her chin on top. "How have you been IzaIza? I haven't seen you properly for ages!" Feeling slightly restless, Izaya glanced at his wristwatch.

"Ah… it seems that way hm? You're just too busy working Karisawa," Izaya replied airily, despite being in turmoil inside himself. _Okay, so maybe giving your number like that was fine. It's okay, he's a friend now, friends exchange numbers don't they? Yeah, it's all good-_

_You stupid fuck, you don't have _his_ number!_

Gripping his rapidly cooling teacup to prevent another meeting between forehead and table, Izaya took a quick swig of his tea while Erika rambled on.

"-Your latest work was fantastic as usual! I couldn't put the book down from page 1 to the very end! So amazing Iza-chan!"

"Thanks Karisawa, look I have to get going now-"

"Oya~? It's Izaya-kun!" the airy voice of Yumasaki Walker interrupted, the jingling of the bell behind him as he joined them on his dinner break from serving customers. "Izaya-kun, how have you been?"

"Fine, fine, a little behind schedule actually. I should go now-"

_You didn't get his number. No way would he contact you. Why would he contact you first? Stupid, stupid, stupid_-

"Ah? Make time for us IzaIza!"

"Yeah! We have much to catch up on!"

In his spare time, when Izaya wanted other opinions on what to write in his book, Izaya often found himself going to these two surprisingly. When bored, he would pull the two away from work – Kyouhei didn't mind – and the three would laugh over torture methods and ways to freak the shit out of someone. Eerily, Izaya wouldn't complain too much if someone had said Walker and Erika's minds were sicker than his, because they weren't too far off from the truth at all.

However, _now_, when he was sick and tired and blocked from writing, was _not_ a good time!

_You didn't get his number!_

"Guys, I have to-"

_Ding._

_Message arrived._

Glancing down at his phone, his eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat.

_Unknown Number_

_Time : 7:09_

_Subject: Go home._

_Stop distracting my coworkers._

* * *

><p>The next morning, a ringing above the door alerted Kyouhei's ears as it raised his attention from the espresso machine he was wiping down and brought his eyes to a figure dressed in a button up, a grey sweater and black slacks. Smiling, he brought his full attention to the usual customer and set his towel down before placing both hands on the counter comfortably, leaning forward.<p>

"Here to stay? Or quick to go?" the friendly barista asked. Fiery irises scanned the café briefly in an 'I'm being nonchalant' way before settling back to the assistant manager.

"Stay… I guess, where's Shizu-chan?" the author was quick to ask. Quirking the corner of his lips upwards, Kyouhei suppressed the grin that was rising, and was sure to be slapped off his face if his mouth upturned any further.

"You mean Shizuo-kun? He's not working today, he's at his other part time." Kyouhei had to also suppress himself from expressing his laughter at the down, crestfallen puppy look Izaya had just given. Almost as though the man had puppy ears and a tail that just drooped after finding out their owner wouldn't be back yet. "Feeling better?" A nod. "To stay right?" A nod. "Long black?"

And at the young writer's response, Kyouhei could not suppress himself this time as he had choked lightly at the order that was placed instead of his usual that he ordered practically every single time.

Shaking his head and averting his eyes, a pink blush made itself known on Izaya's fine cheekbones as he said-

"Earl Grey with lemon and honey please."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Whew! haha finished another installment for you guys, god I'm so nice. But you guys are undoubtedly so cruel to me... I appreciate those who review and everything, you guys put grins on my faces that lasts for hours, but there are a quiet bunch of you who favourite me, my stories, and story alert me and all-

But don't review :( haha not holding it against you guys, just saying you're a tough crowd to please.

Hope you enjoyed this installment!


	4. Postman Shizuo

Wordlessly, Kyouhei nodded and Izaya skimmed the menu board, unused to being clueless about the price of his drink. Bringing out the correct change, Izaya slipped his phone open and checked his messages before composing a new one.

[_Where are you?_]

Seating himself at a plush chair, Izaya had to admit the Earl Grey had helped sooth his throat immensely, and the steam of the tea that eased itself into his blocked nasal cavity helped to open it up. But he would never tell Shizuo that of course. He did not have to wait long for a reply as he glanced at his vibrating phone.

[_Working, asshole. You feeling better_?]

The silly grin that worked itself up to Izaya's face beamed as he typed a quick reply.

[_Much better._]

* * *

><p><em>Eerily quiet.<em>

_The halls were dark, eerily quiet and illuminated by only the slightest ghostly glow of the moon, casting dark shadows all over the apartment, creeping shadows clawing at her body, reaching, stretching-_

"_Akiko!" The sudden voice called out abruptly, grasping her shoulder in a downwards pull that had Akiko screaming. "Akiko! It's just me, Hatsuo!" the deep voice replied, wrapping his arms around her. Hiding her teary face in the confines of his sweater, she grasped onto him tightly, heart beating at a rate that would shame a wild animal's stampede._

"_So scared, Hatsuo, I was so scared!" The high school girl whimpered into the 28 year old's sweater. Eyes glinting in the dim moonlight, Hatsuo kissed the top of her forehead gently, wrapping one arm around her shoulder. The other limb reached around with deadly precision with an aim for her jugular vein, the kitchen knife glinting in the ghostly glow of the moon._

"_Everything will be okay. I promise."_

Bhjhnjkl;tyrfed wsf

"Stop head banging the god-damn keyboard and keep writing!" the commanding voice of Namie yelled.

"Do you know how sick I was for the past three days, you mean person? In fact, I still have a runny nose, three days isn't nearly enough to actually be able to recover! You inconsiderate _cow-_" Izaya complained from his position on the bed with his thick blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Bristling at the insult, she leaned in towards the bratty author, seething and threatening.

"Go on, call me a cow again. _One more time._" Eyes narrowing in a deadly glare, Izaya leaned in towards his editor with just as much pride and determination as he hissed in return.

"_Moo_."

"Sorry if I'm ruining any intimate moments here," a deep voice coughed. "But I've brought your lunch you spoilt princess." Looking up from their glaring match, Izaya's eyes immediately lit up and he bounced up in his casual grey hood shirt and black shorts. His 'moomoo' pajamas unfortunately needed a washing.

"Shizu-chan! Uwai! Thank you so much!" the black haired man cheered, hugging Shizuo around the neck and dragging him down.

"I get it, I get it, now come on, I'm hungry. Let's- oh… Uhm, good afternoon Yagiri-san…" Shizuo immediately bowed lightly. Raising a brow, Namie only nodded back, before watching a laughing and unbelievably happy Izaya drag Shizuo out of the room. Trying to regain his own ground, Shizuo grabbed onto the doorframe and once again attempted to speak with the strict lady. "I, uh… bought some lunch. Would you like some, Yagiri-san?"

_You don't find well-mannered people like him nowadays…_ Namie pondered before shaking her head and sighing. She picked up her handbag and prepared to leave as she passed a hungry Izaya and a polite Shizuo.

"No. I'm heading back anyways; just make sure this fool gets back to work as soon as he's done shoving his face and gaining weight-"

"Hey!"

"I'm leaving."

And her departure was emphasized with the slam of the front door, which left Izaya staring after her with a pair of chopsticks dangling from his mouth. Shizuo scratched the back of his neck as he approached the black marble kitchen tops where Izaya was standing.

"Is she… uh… okay?" he questioned awkwardly. Izaya snapped his attention back to Shizuo and smiled.

"She's fine. She actually didn't see her brother at all last night so she's just extra grumpy today," Izaya sang while taking out the several boxes of sushi. "Whoa! Shizu-chan, you ordered so much! Just for me? You shouldn't have!" Laughing in glee, Izaya brought the several boxes out and carried them to the glass dining table to his left.

"Yeah yeah, believe what you will, but I actually only bought two of those boxes. Simon _gave_ me the rest. Said something about me overworking myself or some crap," Shizuo explained as he brought out Izaya's favourite red wine and his own supply of strawberry milk that resided in Izaya's fridge. Pausing in his actions, Izaya snuck a glance at Shizuo as he reached high above his own head for the wine glasses, raising his plain red t-shirt to reveal a smooth, tan set of abs that just begged to be touched. Blushing, Izaya gripped his dining table a little too hard as his heart pounded.

_What the hell is wrong with you Orihara?_ Izaya chided himself from his little daydream and continued to set out plates for the both of them with the soy sauce dipping dish in between. Pausing once again as the dipping dish was settled on the glass, Izaya snuck another glance. _Well… another sneak wouldn't hurt_.

"What are you looking at?" Shizuo asked quizzically as he stared right into the eyes of Izaya with little distance in between the two.

"You look like a bear," Izaya deadpanned, before turning his face away in shame and utter humiliation. Oblivious to the odd behavior of Izaya, Shizuo's eyebrow and lip twitched as a vein popped on his face.

"You little annoying flea-"

"Thanks for the meal~!" Izaya chimed before stuffing his face with a tempura nigiri. Shizuo let out a sigh before starting on his own sushi, a light smile playing on his lips.

* * *

><p><em>Sigh.<em>

"Izaya…"

Stubbornly settling his ass on the blue scooter Shizuo needed, Izaya crossed his arms, pouted, and huffed.

"No."

"Izaya, I really need to get to my other job now."

"Take me with you."

"… Izaya…"

"No! I want to go too!"

"… Don't make me count to three."

"What? But I-"

"One…"

"That's not fair! I'm-"

"Two…"

"No! Not going to work on _me_! _I'm_ Orihara Izaya-"

And at Shizuo's count of three, he had lifted the grown writer off the scooter around the waist and set him down on the concrete before hopping on the scooter himself and quickly driving away before Izaya had the chance to grab onto him or stop him. Waving goodbye without turning around, Shizuo yelled an 'I'll see you next time' as he drove off, but was caught off guard by the sound of rapid, stomping footsteps. Glancing behind himself, he was totally unprepared for the unexpected display of insanity.

"WHAT THE FUCK FLEA, WHAT THE HELL-"

"I DID TRACK ATHLETICS IN HIGH SCHOOL, YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY ESCAPE FROM ME!" the crazed informant screamed, racing after the scooter. Accelerating to get away from the freaky display of a nature Shizuo had never seen in Izaya, this only fueled the writer's will to run faster.

"YOU CAN'T RUN, SHIZU-CHAN!"

"THIS IS FUCKING CREEPY FLEA, STOP, STOP I GIVE UP! JUST WAIT A SECOND-"

"DON'T BRAKE RIGHT NOW YOU IMBECILE!"

"I KNOW, I KNOW SHUT UP- HOLY SHIT!"

* * *

><p>With the top half of his face overshadowed with horror, Shizuo rode his scooter at a steady pace with an extremely overjoyed Izaya sitting behind him, arms wrapped around the blonde's waist tightly. Snuggling into the blonde's back, Izaya sighed in content.<p>

But his eyes narrowed as they snapped open, his grip around the blonde's waist tightening.

It was odd.

He wasn't sure what to make of all the insults and criticisms he had received about his perception of love.

His very first question to ask those who were apparently more knowledgeable than him -scoff- was 'what does love feel like?'

How does it start off?

What are the symptoms? And-

Will happiness come from it?

As Kyouhei had briefly touched upon before while lecturing the writer, his parents had gone through a divorce. Growing up, his father and mother both treated him dearly, and his sisters too. However, it was at the point where the happy loving and caring sides the parents had shown the children, belonged _only_ to the children. Smiles, hugs and kisses were no longer shared between the two adults as the twins grew, and Izaya, as perceptive as he was, noticed this expanding gap growing between the two.

He saw no love there, apart from the caring, doting approach they both had for their children.

Izaya closed his eyes and relaxed on Shizuo's back, listening to the scooter's low rumble, embracing the cold winds that whipped his hair about. He never really had a 'crush' on anybody during his school years either. Perhaps he had felt particularly stronger about one other classmate more than the others, but that always altered depending on what his lovely humans did. He had realized then, that he loved humans, and humanity as a whole.

That was a wide range, a rather large category that love could not fall into.

But Izaya was determined.

If anything, he was stubborn, since birth he was told, and would do anything his mindset had told him to do. He would show his editor, his publishing company, Kyouhei, that he _could_ and _can_ write about love. He _will _write about love and he _will_ succeed. But for now, as he closed his eyes once again and settled for listening to Shizuo's heartbeat, he felt at a loss.

What to do now?

What to do next?

Furrowing his brows, Izaya also began to question his integrity around this man he was currently gripping onto for dear life. Izaya was known to be a prideful being, a strong willed, brilliantly intelligent man since youth. His childish tendencies were a minor side personality he had shown to _very few_ people, but this?

This man, this Heiwajima, he had only known for a little more than 2-3 weeks, and Shizuo knew more about Izaya than anyone else, he would bet.

Like the fact that he disliked sweets, and enjoyed salty, bitter things with strong tastes.

The fact that Izaya went people-watching, and made it a hobby.

The fact that Izaya loved fatty tuna, liked taking walks every morning and afternoon, didn't like staying out in the sun too long, disliked rainy days-

It was sort of… alarming.

But he had dismissed the close developing friendship blooming between the two, because Izaya had simply called it 'compatibility', like the best friend he had never had, despite the fact Shizuo and he were polar opposites.

But, emptying his thoughts to relieve some of the pounding questions, Izaya felt himself loosen up and simply lean on this 'best friend' -

Blaming the sun for the warm, fuzzy feeling that he felt growing inside the pit of his heart and expanding outwards to the very tips of his fingers and toes.

* * *

><p>"-lea. Flea. Oi, Izaya, get up, we're here." Eyes blurry and head spinning, Izaya opened his eyes to find the scooter immobile, with a heavy weight on his head that wasn't there before. Sitting up and rubbing his eye with one hand, the other loosened its tight grip in Shizuo's shirt as he stood up, balancing the scooter to stand on its own. Stretching his arms and yawning, Izaya felt the top of his head to find it was a helmet that was weighing his cranium down. Glancing up at Shizuo, he had already turned away, but was unable to hide the pink tint to his ears that was visible to Izaya.<p>

"Didn't have a spare helmet to give you, but you insisted on coming along."

Izaya stared up at him and broke out into a soft smile, feeling the sun warm his insides, making him feel 'tingly'. Setting the helmet on the handlebar of the scooter, Izaya skipped after Shizuo to follow him into-

_The post office?_

"Ah! Shizuo-kun, there you are!" a haughty, round bellied man gestured the timid blonde over. With a rough moustache and hair that stood on its bushy ends, Shizuo's boss glanced over the tall Heiwajima's shoulder at the bobbing head of Izaya. "Ah! Bringing a friend along now I see! I told you to bring a friend, didn't I? Gets lonely running around town by yourself. I remember when I used to ride around with my girlfriend… now of course the wife stays at home because she's too lazy-"

"Fujioka-san…" Shizuo cut in, clearing his throat. Laughing heartily, the man waved his hand.

"Thank you Shizuo-kun, always needed someone to stop me from talking. You know, young man, I can't seem to-"

"Ahem."

"Ah~ Okay, okay, sorry Shizuo-kun. Here you go! Today's delivery!" Bringing a rather large brown bag from behind the counter, it was full of handwritten litters, thick paper envelopes, and government-sent bills.

Izaya never thought he'd be amazed by _mail_ of all things, but staring into the bag, it seemed never ending. Nudging his side, Shizuo jerked his head towards the entrance, indicating their leave. Izaya turned around and bowed his head lightly, saying a quiet farewell. Hurrying his footsteps to match the long legs ahead of him, Izaya quickly caught up to Shizuo and watched him set the mail bag in between his legs on the small expanse of floor on the scooter.

Shizuo glanced up at Izaya and raised a brow.

"What's up with you? You're rather quiet since you hopped into the scooter. Tired from the marathon you ran?" Izaya smirked and shrugged, quickly putting up a defense.

"This wonderful author would be disappointing his fans if he didn't continue his books to finish it on time! I must spend my moments in peace coming up with wonderful ways in which my fantastic killers attack their prey-"

"Suit yourself, I'm leaving."

"WAIT!"

* * *

><p>"Next stop, Ikebukuro!" Izaya cheered as he read the envelope's address, while Shizuo slowed to a stop at a red light.<p>

"You're rather happy with this job aren't you," Shizuo chuckled. Izaya nodded against his back and began to hum a random tune which altered every few seconds, filling in the blanks of silence with his rather joyous mood. A gasp quickly stopped Shizuo's chuckles as Izaya pointed to the right of their intersection in traffic.

"Shizu-chan, look! An accident!" But Izaya's tone was far from shocked, or remorse. Rather, it was filled with glee, with an undertone of eerie sadistic pleasure. Even from here he could see the blood slowly pooling out of the car.

But Shizuo was in a world of his own.

As soon as he had seen the overturned car, it was an immediate reminisce of a time long ago that he would never be able to forget. Flashes played, one after the other, replaying in his mind over and over again.

"_Shizuo, stop!"_

A sheen of gloss shone over Shizuo's eyes as he watched the accident unfold and paramedics rush to help, but didn't see the accident that had just happened_ now._ Instead, his memories unfolded on him and revealed an accident that happened years ago.

"_Shizuo!"_

"-zu-chan? Shizu-chan!" a voice shouted in his ear. Reality quickly dragged him back to the present as all his senses returned to his surroundings, the sound of car horns beeping and ambulances wailing in the background as the traffic light turned green. Gassing the accelerator, Shizuo sped as far as he could away from that scene.

That _smell_.

Those _voices in his head._

"Shizu-chan, slow down!" the feeble voice from behind shouted as the grip in Shizuo's jacket clamped. Slowing down, Shizuo took deep breaths and cleared his thoughts before finally reaching a steady pace and entering Ikebukuro. Lending his helmet to Izaya, he found, felt much freer, with the wind tousling his hair and breezing past his face. Grinning and repressing the memories he'd much rather wish he could forget, Shizuo opened his mouth and asked-

"Where to, postman?"

* * *

><p>By the end of the day, night had fallen and Shizuo slowed to a stop in front of Izaya's apartment. He could hear the small, quiet snores fall from the raven's mouth, and he frowned at the small patch of drool on his jacket. He supposed he really should have dropped Izaya off earlier that afternoon when they started arguing about the addresses.<p>

"_Shizu-chan, it's not this way, I'm telling you. Apartment 212 A is down the other way."_

"_Flea. I am the post man. I will do what I think is right. And I think this way is right."_

"_Shizu-chan. I am smarter and much more intelligent than you. It's the other way."_

"_Tch. How can you tell anyway? None of these fucking shops have numbers on them."_

"_I just think we passed 300, so it _must_ be the other way!"_

"_No, _I_ am the post man here, this is _my_ job, we go _this_ way!"_

"_Shizu-chan, you're just being stupid now, it's the other way, now turn around before we go down too far- OH MY GOD. DO YOU SEE THAT?"_

"…"

"_Tell me, what's the number on that house? HMM? And the one next to it?"_

"…_412…414…"_

"_WE'RE FUCKING 200 HOUSES AWAY, WHAT DID I TELL YOU HUH? YOU NEVER LISTEN DO YOU-"_

"_CALM THE FUCK DOWN!_"

Sighing loudly, Shizuo didn't even know how they kept such a stable friendship when they always argued so viciously. Glancing down at the bag between his feet, they were still filled with letters, filling up about a third of the bag. Shrugging and smiling, however, Shizuo noted they were all fan mail for Izaya. Chuckling, he picked up the bag and settled it on his wrist before leaning forward to let Izaya fall onto his back properly. He lifted the limp arms from around his hips to his shoulders, hefting the body up from the thighs to settle Izaya into a piggy back.

Climbing the small set of steps up front, Shizuo patiently waited for the elevator and rode it to the top floors where Izaya resided, high end and rich as. He sorted his schedule for tomorrow out in his mind and listened to the slow breathing of Izaya, stopping when he heard a shift of breath. However, Izaya merely grumbled and returned to his slumber, and Shizuo had continued down the hall to Izaya's door.

And that's when he realized there was a bit of a problem there.

_God damn, where are the keys._ Shizuo cursed under his breath and glanced over his shoulder to the smaller man who snored his peacefulness away, looking much too innocent to be woken up. Cursing again, Shizuo hefted Izaya up higher, and slowly stabilized him on his back, taking on hand off his thigh to reach into his pockets. His attempt however, was seemingly a failing attempt as Izaya was slowly dropping from his back. Hefting him back up and quickly using both hands again, Shizuo cursed louder this time.

"Fucking louse, can't even bloody have consideration enough to stay awake, makes me do all the fucking work-"

_Ka-chak._

At the sound of a door closing that wasn't his, Shizuo turned his attention behind him down the hall, only to make eye contact with an incredulous neighbor. An elderly woman watched him blankly, most likely wondering what the hell was he doing with an unconscious man on his back. Awkward silence passed between the three, though one was perfectly fine sleeping through this awkward silence as Shizuo cleared his throat. Feeling as though he should clear Izaya's name, it looked as though the lady had just dubbed Izaya in her mind as 'irresponsible drunk.'

"He's… uh… he hasn't been drinking," Shizuo began, raising the eyebrows of the elderly woman quite high. "He's… not drunk." Nodding her head extremely slowly in an attitude that said 'I actually _really_ don't care', Shizuo now realized that Izaya being drunk was the last thing on her mind, and that Shizuo being crazy and stupid was first and foremost. She narrowed her eyes in skepticism and entered the elevator hurriedly.

Banging his head against the door of Izaya's residence extremely hard, Shizuo cursed again.

"Fucking hell."

And that, it seemed, to be the last straw for Orihara Izaya as a fit of giggles burst through his lips and onto Shizuo's jacket. Stiffening, Shizuo's grip on the thighs around his hips tightened painfully, but did nothing to quell the laughter of Izaya that broke through.

"Hahahahahaha! Ahh Shizu-chan, what fun you bring me! The hilarity! Oh, at this rate, you may become my favourite human, ahahaha-"

"How long," Shizuo deadpanned dangerously. Wiping his tears away, Izaya attempted to speak through his chuckles.

"Haha, since, ha, the stairs down the front of the building-OW SHIT!" Dropped unceremoniously onto his bottom, it was Izaya's turn to curse as Shizuo glared down at him, a slight pink tinting his cheeks.

"You little ass."

Shrugging, Izaya only smirked as he stood and spun on his toes slightly to face his door, and unlock it finally. Walking inside and slipping his shoes off with his toes, he dropped his keys and keycard into a glass bowl beside the door and strode in, straight towards his computer desk. Settling himself in the plush black leather of his chair, Izaya smiled contently and watched Shizuo stumble in lightly with the bag of fan mail.

"So, all mine huh?" Izaya stated more than asked, arrogantly. Shizuo raised a brow as he slipped a shoe off with one hand, the other pressed against the wall for support.

"You knew?" Shrugging, Izaya spun around in his chair once.

"It got a little confusing to pull out letters on your scooter, check the address, and find out it's mine. Happened quite a few times actually." Rolling his eyes, Shizuo went straight to the fridge and grabbed a small carton of strawberry milk while Izaya sorted through the mail bag Shizuo had thrown onto his desk. Opening the carton while he crossed the lounge to reach the desk Izaya sat at, he had barely let the carton reach his lips as Izaya glanced down at the first envelope on the pile and began to panic. Eyes widening and skin dropping to colder temperatures, Izaya's hands reached out to grab Shizuo's arm, spilling the milk everywhere. And before Shizuo had time to complain or tell him off, Izaya beat him to it, blurting out in immense fear-

"Sleep with me tonight!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Wheewww! So tired hahaha, glad I could get this up for you guys ^^ Just picturing these two really is a lot of fun, though I do realise they are OOC. However, they grew up differently to the actual _ them_ in the anime, so of course they'd be different.

Don't like? Don't read.

It's fun to type Izaya headbanging keyboards

Cause I'm actually the one who headbangs the keyboard, hoping no one walks in to see me.

Hope you enjoyed it!

Reviews and Criticisms are appreciated!


	5. Sleep today, Date tomorrow!

Overshadowed with shock and disbelief, Shizuo blankly stood at the door to his bedroom and watched as Izaya ran in like a little child and jumped onto his bed.

"Kyaho~! Bed- AUGH what the hell? Shizu-chan you sleep on a rock!" Izaya complained as he rolled around on the hard bed. Sighing loudly, Shizuo dumped his duffle bag on the floor and began to unpack his clothes.

_Blank, Shizuo stared at Izaya for a few moments, still trying to interpret his words differently in case he understood wrong. But the words repeated in his head, like a song stuck on replay, and there was no way to misinterpret that sudden request._

_But just in case._

"_Come again?"_

_And without further explanation, Izaya shoved the letter in his face. Scrunching his face in time with the scrunch of the paper in Izaya's fist, Shizuo grasped it from his hand and began to skim over its contents, wondering what in the world had caused that kind of question to erupt from the author's mouth-_

_Oh._

"_To my beloved Orihara Izaya_

_I have always loved the way you think and the way you present your ideas in your works of art, and when I watch you on television shows, my body feels… f-flushed. Your voice entrances me, I love hearing your voice, so much that I sometimes walk around with your interviews replaying in my … head… phones-_

_Flea what the hell?"_

"_Keep reading!" _

"_Uh… I am in complete, total love with you, I am absolutely convinced it is true love. My heart beats for you until it aches, and in the shower I- holy shit!" Shizuo stuttered as his face resumed its full blush._

"_Keep _reading_!"_

"_This shit should be censored. Okay, uh… I love you so much, to the point where I have to see you. I have found your address- shit, flea!"_

"Keep reading!_"_

"_And my dream of waking up to your face will be fulfilled- I'm not reading anymore, this is serious shit."_

"_Do you see now?" Izaya wailed. "I can't sleep alone tonight, it isn't safe!"_

"_I see that but, what can_ I_ possibly do?"_

And after riding back and forth between apartments for half the night in arguing where to stay, Shizuo had finally won the argument and brought Izaya to his own apartment, seeing as the stalker-fan knew his address and really, that was quite unsafe and scary enough as it was.

Which led to this ridiculous sleep over.

"What shall we do Shizu-chan?" Izaya chirped as he sat up on the bed, bouncing up and down. "Put cucumbers on each other's faces? Paint our toes? Our nails? Eat movies and watch candy- wait, that's not right…" Izaya rambled as he frowned in concentration. Though the raven-haired man was quite content with bouncing up and down on the bed and rambling ideas to himself, Shizuo glared at him blankly.

He had noticed on the scooter in between the rides back and forth from Shinjuku to Ikebukuro, back to Shinjuku and ending in Ikebukuro-

But he hoped it wasn't true.

In the midst of his rambling, Shizuo cut in bluntly.

"Izaya. Where is your sleeping bag you prepared?"

Pausing, Izaya stared at him, his mouth open in the middle of listing another sleep over activity as his fingers were up and poised to count down the number of numerous things he could do at 'slumber parties'. Chuckling, Izaya waved his hand about airily, dismissing 'Shizu-chan's silly question'.

"Silly Shizu-chan. You dropped my bag just then, remember? It's right there at your feet."

"Izaya. That is not your bag."

"… Yes it is. You brought that bag from my apartment, it has my pajamas and-"

"Izaya. It's _my_ sleeping bag."

The raven-haired man paused in his little debate with his 'best friend', letting the information sink in before he started to raise his voice.

"_What_? You mean all that time, you weren't carrying _my_ bag?" Izaya shouted in horror.

"_No!_ It's _mine_, since you couldn't bloody decide where to freaking sleep!"

"Shizu-chan! My _moomoo pajamas_!" Izaya wailed in horror. Sighing loudly in frustration, he tuned out the annoying nagging nuisance that sat on his bed and dug through his drawers to find something the writer could change into. "After I had them _washed _too! Clean and waiting for me, my moomoo-"

"Stop complaining about the fucking _cow_ and just wear this!" Shizuo said exasperatedly, chucking articles of clothing at Izaya. Frowning, Izaya glared at Shizuo in contempt as he stared at the clothes in his hand. Thrown at him, found in the depths of Shizuo's closet, happened to be a loose, plain t-shirt and black pajama pants, along with a pair of socks. Staring at the articles of clothing, Izaya's eyes glanced at Shizuo.

Izaya beamed before quickly slipping his own shirt off to swap for the nightwear. But before he had a chance to slip the shirt over his head, he felt a searing heat climb to his cheeks as he realized Shizuo was staring at him change. Shoving his head through the article of clothing, he attempted to pull on a confident mask over his blush to make fun of Shizuo.

"I didn't realize Shizu-chan was such a pervert~" Blinking owlishly at Izaya, Shizuo turned around to find his own pajamas as he chuckled.

"I was checking if the shirt fit, you cocky bastard."

Embarrassed at his incorrect assumption, Izaya quickly took the chance to change into the pants he was given while Shizuo's back was turned.

"Whatever you say, Shizu-chan~" Izaya sang, though his face still felt hot. From what embarrassment, he didn't know, but it was starting to become irritating. Sitting cross legged on the rock-hard bed, Izaya glanced around the room to observe his surroundings.

Shizuo was not much of a decorative man.

With white-washed walls that bordered his room, Shizuo's room had a bedside table, a bed, a dresser with drawers, and a door that led to a bathroom on the other side of the room. A laundry hamper sat in a corner whereas a half naked Shizu-chan began to take off his shirt-

_Whoa! _Izaya's mind did a double-take as he flinched in surprise from the shock of Shizu-chan stripping _right then and there_. Embarrassed, Izaya hid his face behind his fingers, though he couldn't help the gaps in between that allowed him to peek slightly.

Toned nicely and muscled just right, Shizuo's back muscles rippled with his movements as he slipped on a loose white shirt and hooked his fingers in the waistband of his jeans-

_Okay Izaya. Stop looking._

_Now!_

"Flea."

"I wasn't looking!" the 'flea' in question yelped as he covered his eyes. Puzzled, Shizuo glanced over at Izaya who was curled in a ball on the bed as he pulled the waistband of his sleeping pants up.

"Uh… okay… but Flea, aren't you hungry? We didn't get to have a chance to eat dinner."

Perking up, Izaya's eyes sparkled at the indirect mention of food. Shizuo sighed with a light smile on his face and muttered a small 'be right back,' before leaving the room. Flopping down on the rock hard mattress, (that was not actually that hard, just hard compared to his luxury at home) Izaya began to close his eyes again in concentration.

The concept of love was a hard one.

There was the debate on whether it was good or bad, that was one thing.

Then there was the problem in how he interpreted it.

_And around and around in circles we go, _Izaya thought in irritation as his eyes snapped open to glare at the ceiling in contempt. Frustrated, Izaya flung his arm out to the side, jumping up in surprise when he heard something clatter to the floor. Peeping over the edge, Izaya quickly picked up said item and prayed it wasn't broken. Who knows what Shizuo would have done if he broke an item in his first ten minutes of staying there.

_A remote control_? Izaya's brow rose as he inspected it. A Panasonic TV remote control rotated in his hands as his eyes skimmed the room for the-

"Ahah!" Izaya chirped in triumph. Switching the small TV on, it sat near the foot of the bed on its own little stand, and the small thing twitched to life before displaying a wrestling channel. Brow twitching, Izaya's face was not amused. _Seems typical of Shizu-chan though_. Flipping through the channels, he stopped and flipped back one to stop at a celebrity interview where the two were dating.

"_So, how are you two love birds doing together?"_ the interviewer squealed as Izaya's interest perked.

_Love!_

Laughing, the male had his arm wrapped around the shoulders of a well endowed and rich branded female as he answered the question.

"_Fantastic! Sweetie and I have never been better actually. It's a little tough, not being able to see each other, but that's work I guess."_ The audience present in the background cooed at the display of adorableness and laughed with the male and interviewer.

The clench of a hand on shoulders.

The tightening of a grip on a handbag.

The twitch of a brow and the corner of his lips.

The distinct wrinkle of a displeased nose.

The tired, grey eye bags that were covered well by make-up.

Stiff and uncomfortable, the woman sat, looking extremely tired and perhaps miffed by being dragged to an interview so late at night, Izaya had observed. The male counterpart looked to be having the time of his life however, despite the tightening of his arms and the twitches in his brow and lips. Izaya was told he was a quiet child in the earlier years of his life, but his silence was put to use instead, in observing people and human behavior.

"She obviously doesn't love him," came the scoff of Shizuo as he returned. Perking up in amazement, Izaya stared at Shizuo as he sat next to him on the bed.

"How do you know?" he asked a little too hastily. Shizuo glanced at him before leaning towards the shorter male and pointing at the screen.

"Look at her discomfort. She's stiff in his arms, and that should be obvious to the man who's holding her. But look at that grip he has around her shoulders. Shouldn't it be more comforting, if she was merely tired and moody? His grip is tight. Threatening. It's saying, 'you can't leave.'" Mouth agape, Izaya, who had read the woman as merely moody and tired, was shocked at Shizuo's quick observation. "The man, too. He looks a bit frustrated, despite all the smiles he's flashing. Oh. The woman moved a bit to the left. She's inching away from him with each intimate question the interviewer's asking."

"_And so, show us a kiss for the camera!"_

And Izaya watched, as true to Shizuo's word, the man's grin turned cynical at the opportunity whereas the woman quickly masked her shock and disgust, but there was no mistaking the twitch in her body that begged to edge away. Izaya turned to Shizuo to bombard him with questions but snapped his mouth shut as he noticed a low growl rumble from Shizuo's throat.

"If you really loved one another, you'd try to be as close as you could to one another. Physical contact is definitely- uh… Izaya? Are you okay?"

Covering his face in his hands, Izaya didn't even realize how close the two were until Shizuo had mentioned that little tidbit about 'love' and being 'close together'. Leaning on one arm to support his weight, Shizuo was brushing shoulders with Izaya as Izaya leaned towards him unconsciously, seeking that instinct that told him '_the source of warmth is over there!_' Red to the very tips of his ears, Izaya nodded his head. Tilting his head to the side in confusion, Shizuo dismissed the author's odd behavior.

"By the way I ordered pizza. Didn't know what you liked so I-"

"PIZZA!"

* * *

><p>Satisfied, Izaya licked his fingers with one eye closed as Shizuo stood up to dispose of the soft drink cans and the pizza box that was ravaged in under ten minutes with both men as ravenous as bears. But throughout the whole consuming process where the pizza entered his mouth and disappeared not a minute later, Izaya analysed Shizuo in his mind.<p>

_He's quite a sharp one…_ Izaya observed as Shizuo left the room just then. _He seems to have a vast knowledge on love as well_… At this, Izaya's scrutinizing gaze turned into a ray of hope as he perked up in his seat on the bed once again. _That's it!_ Shizuo chose that moment to walk back into the room to assign Izaya his sleeping quarters until he was cut off by the rather bubbly 21 year old on his bed.

"Let's go on a date tomorrow Shizu-chan!"

Shizuo paused in his tracks and stared at Izaya, his legs in mid-stride with his arms, half swung. However, Shizuo seemingly appeared to be rather nonchalant at Izaya's sudden request of a homosexually intimate outing for two people as he waved his hand and dismissed the 'date' with a-

"I have work tomorrow."

But that didn't stop Izaya.

"What! Call in sick!" Izaya offered rather aggressively, completely miffed.

"Can't. Need the money," Shizuo shrugged as he began to pull a spare pillow and blanket from the bottom drawer of the dresser.

"I'll pay for admission tickets tomorrow!" Izaya huffed.

"Izaya, it's Kadota's café, and I'm opening up shop tomorrow-"

"A morning shift?" Izaya cheered. "Great! Aquarium opens at 10 anyway-"

"_Aquarium_?" Shizuo double checked, his turn to be miffed. Nodding vigorously, Izaya began his explanation.

"That's where most couples go on a date right? I need to observe love for my novel Shizu-chan, you love my novels right?"

"Not really…"

"That's not what the collection of every single one of my books say, sitting over there on top of your bedside table."

"…Your point being?" Red tinged cheeks huffed.

"I told you before, my dilemma is the fact that for some reason, I can't write about love. But Shizu-chan! Did you hear yourself before? You sound like an expert!" Red tinged cheeks blew up to rival the hue of a fire-truck as Shizuo scratched the back of his head. "See? Even you know it! So come with me tomorrow to observe my lovely humans! I could really use you to help my interpretation of love!" Izaya's eyes sparkled as Shizuo glared down at him half-heartedly. Izaya was much too proud to beg, he was far above that meager, pitiful stage of begging. But it seemed as though he didn't even _have _to beg Shizuo to go with him, if the heavy sigh was any indication.

"Fine. But you're coming with me tomorrow morning to work then."

"Fine with me! Yay! Shizu-chan and I are going to the aquarium!"

"But I need to open up shop at 5:30, so wake up at 4 so that we-"

"You're fucking kidding."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Woww! Sorry guys, it's been a while and I felt bad, but senior and final year of high school is hectic stuff man... That's why, tada~! I made a present for you guys! Chapter 5 of Inspire Me is up!

... Sorry.. it's not that great a present. WELL it WAS 12 pages long, but I've split into two chapters so I've got chapters 5 and 6 ready ^^ But~ I'm only posting 6 after I finish 'You're My Little Catalyst's chapter ;D

Man, I'm cruel. Feeling rather tired so my sadistic side has come out.

Review if you want 6 to come out faster~


	6. Pufferfishes and Chips

"-zu-chan."

_Nggh._

"Shizu-chan."

_Nn, go away._

"Shizu-chan."

_Annoying…_

"_Shizu-chan!_"

Groaning, Shizuo removed his arm from his eyes and glared up at his intruder from his position on the couch. First, the intruder pesters him to sleep with him. Then, the intruder couldn't decide on a proper sleeping place. Afterwards, the intruder came, _unprepared_, and then finally, took over the _freaking_ bed and made the owner of the apartment sleep on the couch instead.

Replace intruder with Izaya, and owner with Shizuo, and you could see Mr. Heiwajima's dilemma.

"What, what, _what_?" Shizuo groaned, pressing his face into the arm of his uncomfortably hard couch.

"Shizu-chan, what if he comes here too…" Izaya whispered fearfully, tugging at any part of Shizuo he could reach, referring to the freakish stalker love letter he had received earlier that evening.

"He won't come here, Izaya!" Shizuo replied exasperatedly before throwing his woolen blanket over his cramped figure. After a moments worth of silence, Shizuo felt the knot in his eyebrows loosen, and his face relax into sleep as slumber pulled him into its depths once again, enticing him into a world of-

"_Shizu-chan._"

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE!"

* * *

><p>Tired, red eyes watched Shizuo open the shop sideways, as Izaya's cheek pressed against the cool surface of the café table's wood. Arms dangling from his shoulder sockets, and bottom pressed heavily into the plush underneath him, Izaya emitted a yawn from his place as a little drool escaped his lips and onto the table.<p>

"I just fucking _wiped_ those tables, _Flea_," Shizuo growled from his place behind the counter. Rolling his grumpy, tired eyes, Izaya wiped the table half-heartedly with his sleeve before slumping back down into his original lump. Because of seriously scary stalker-san, Izaya didn't get any proper sleep last night, seeing as he had to practically sleep with one eye open and cautious for the scary stalker-san. Shizuo refused to help him too, only picked him up, threw him back into the bedroom onto the bed, and slammed the door shut, leaving him in darkness alone. And besides-

"It's so damn _early_~" Izaya yawned again, bringing his arms up to pillow his head. His muffled head rest however, did nothing to stop the delicious brew of coffee wafting into his nose. Enticing his head to raise itself up from its temporary rest, Izaya stared at Shizuo as he too, prepared coffee like a god. Wrinkling his nose, Izaya lifted his nose high in the air and huffed. Maybe not a God like Kadota, but a demi-god perhaps.

Settling a short black on the table next to Izaya's head, Shizuo quickly went back to work as he set the tables and chairs for outside as well. Izaya sat up, only to slump and sink in his seat as he reached for the pure shot of espresso and sipped at it at first, to test the temperature. Deeming it too hot to gulp down, Izaya childishly stuck his tongue out and set it back down again. _Man, when will Shizu-chan finish…_ Izaya mumbled in his own thoughts, eyes drifting closed. _I want to observe my…. My humans… now…_

* * *

><p>"-well, I guess if you don't want to go to the aquarium, that's fine with me, you don't have to wake up."<p>

"E-eh… Heiwajima-san, that's a bit mean…"

"It's fine, Kirigamine*-"

"It's Ryuugamine…"

"He didn't really want to-" and with a head to his chin, Shizuo was effectively shut up by Izaya's accidental headbut.

"What the _hell_ Shizu-chan, it feels like I just slammed my head into brick!"

"That fucking _hurt_!" Shizuo growled.

"Then don't stand over people standing up!"

"I shouldn't even bother waking you up next time, I should have just gone home."

"Don't be such a sour puss and just go to the aquarium with me!"

_Ding._

Ryuugamine Mikado just stared in worry with a timid smile on his face as he watched the arguing duo leave the café.

"Uh… uhm…"

"They'll be fine," a gruff voice dismissed, waving his hand to get the high-school student's attention. Looking over to his manager, Togusa Saburo, Mikado blinked.

"A-are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah, yeah. Known those two for a _long_ time, they can handle themselves. Damn, I need a smoke." Pulling a box of nicotine from his shirt pocket, it was confiscated before his eyes by his assistant manager.

"No can do Saburo," Kyouhei reprimanded gently. Mikado smiled as Saburo reached for his cigarettes while Erika sauntered along.

"Ne, ne? Isn't Shizu-chan and IzaIza getting really close?" she sang happily, eyes glittering as she fist pumped beneath her chin in unison.

"Oh? What's this, dreaming of yaoi again Eri-chan?" Walker sang as he sauntered up to the counter too.

"Eh, now that you mention it, those two do seem pretty chummy…" Saburo observed as he stroke his chin.

"A-ah, we shouldn't make assumptions!" the youngest café worker chimed, raising his hands defensively.

"Eh… I've noticed it too…" Kyouhei mumbled.

"Perhaps…?"

"The aquarium eh…?"

"A date?"

* * *

><p>Puffing his cheeks as large as he could to beat the arch nemesis that swam across his eyesight, Izaya looked extremely determined to win.<p>

Shizuo simply face-palmed and dragged the 21 year old away from the puffer fish which had flattened out after the threat was torn away from the tank.

"Izaya, we're here for the couples aren't we? Let's just get this over and done with."

"But Shizu-chan! That fish thought he could beat _me-_"

"It was a _puffer fish_, of course it beat you," Shizuo sighed exasperatedly, dragging Izaya away by the wrist.

"But that one was- oh! Shizu-chan, sea horses! Please, can we look at the sea horses! Shizu-chan, stop!"

Whispers and glances passed between the crowds of people who watched the two males, now power-walking hand in hand, commenting on how-

"Cute!"

"Wow, a real boy love couple!"

"I wonder who's on top?"

"The blonde one, duh! Look how big he is!"

"No, I'd say the red eyes cutie. He looks like a control freak who'd claw his way to the top."

Giggles and squeals spread throughout the female part of the crowd as Shizuo covered the lower half of his face with his free hand to hide the rising blush. He let go of Izaya's hand to stop the stupid whispers as he power walked as fast as he could to gain some distance.

_What the hell, freakin' fangirls should just shut up-_

"Shizu-chan~! It's the _penguins_! You _have_ to stop!"

"You too!" Shizuo shouted out accidentally, shocking Izaya momentarily. Stopping abruptly in his tracks, Izaya mumbled an 'oof' as he bumped into a toned, hard back. Steaming in his spot, Shizuo refused to face him. Tugging Shizuo's hand once again and waving it around to get a response, Izaya called out his name repeatedly.

"Shizu-chan? What's up? What happened? The penguins are over there, it's not too late to turn around-"

"One hour," came a murmur that stumbled from Shizuo's lips. Cocking his head to the side, Izaya attempted to peek at the taller man's face, who simply turned away to hide his furiously cherry red face. "You only have one hour to look around the place and play around, Fl-EAAAA!"

"Then what are we standing around for!" Izaya cheered as he ran with a vice-like grip on Shizuo's hand.

* * *

><p>"So, we meet again-"<p>

"_Nooo_, we don't!" Shizuo interrupted as he dragged Izaya away from the damn _pufferfishes_.

"Shizu-cha~n! Come _on_~! I was gonna _win_ too!" Izaya whined as he tugged on Shizuo's hand with his own two.

After viewing the whole aquarium that occupied the tenth floor of one of Sunshine City's famous buildings (for much longer than simply just an _hour_), Shizuo couldn't help but find this side of Izaya adorable. Curious and hungry for more viewings, Izaya ran around the place, energetic and bubbly as he pointed out each of the animals and read out their plaques, as if Shizuo didn't know what a 'crab' or an 'eel' was.

Shizuo dragged him as far as he could away from the hydrogen+oxygen filled fishes and unknowingly brought him towards the penguins again.

"Penguins!" Izaya cheered before taking lead and running over to them once again. Displayed in an open space barricaded by half glass walls, the penguins were slightly far from the viewing glass, but showcased their adorableness effectively either way. Shizuo smiled nostalgically as he remembered holding another younger boy's hand long ago.

"Penguins were Kasuka's favourite," Shizuo admitted, a gentle curve of his lips lifting upwards. "I used to come here all the time with him and my parents."

The bright smile on Izaya's face never left, but his eyes didn't open to betray his emotions either.

"I've never been here before, so this is all really exciting to me."

Heart stopping, Shizuo's eyes widened as he glanced down at the silly grin plastered on Izaya's face.

The slight, uncontrolled furrow of an eyebrow-

The twitch of a smile that wanted to frown-

The miniature facial spasm of disobeying one's emotions in an attempt to mask it-

And suddenly Shizuo felt extremely bad for restricting Izaya's movements earlier. Opening his mouth, he was going to ask what kind of person who lived this long in the local district didn't go to see the-

"Ne, ne, Shizu-chan! Aren't you hungry?" Izaya chirped before rubbing his own stomach. "I'm so hungry right now, I could eat that stupid puffer fish that wouldn't-"

"Okay, okay, food court it is then," Shizuo interrupted. Tugging Izaya's hand towards the food section of the floor, Shizuo paused, and glanced down at the interlaced fingers.

_Their_ interlaced fingers.

Coughing awkwardly, Shizuo unraveled their locked hands and shoved them both in his pockets. Izaya on the other hand didn't seem to notice, and with an unconscious feel of freedom, he realized he could swing his arms about again. Fuming inside his own head, Shizuo argued with himself.

_You held his hands? For the _whole_ day? Heiwajima, are you gay?_ Shaking his head furiously, Shizuo rebutted himself. _No… no, I'm not, I'm most certainly straight. It's just… Izaya is so…_

_Oh, okay, you're only gay for Orihara Izaya, that's great. Even better than being gay._

_Shut up! For fuck's sake_-

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya questioned, waving his hand about the thinking male's face. However, said man seemed much too deep in thought with himself, not even realizing that the pair had seated themselves at a table. Cheeks puffing with irritation at being ignored, Izaya poked the furrowed mound of skin between Shizuo's eyebrows that wrinkled themselves in anger. "You're going to grow old and grow permanent wrinkles there Shizu-chan, if you keep looking like that. Then, you'd be an ugly, old, wrinkly prude," Izaya concluded, wrinkling his nose in distaste at the thought.

"I'm not gay!" Shizuo immediately blurted out angrily, bursting out at a stunned Izaya. Blinking in shock, Izaya simply stared in stunned silence while Shizuo paled at realizing what he had just done. The whole food court was silent, all eyes on the pair now. Laughing awkwardly, Izaya waved a hand back and forth in nonchalance.

"Don't worry, I know, those kids back there just wanted to get under your skin, it's fine. You should bring your girlfriend here next time!" Izaya's charisma played off, laughing all the while. The rest of the food court returned back to their normal chatter after a lingering moment of silence, and continued with their own lives as Izaya sighed in relief and Shizuo wanted to melt into a puddle and die, right there. "Shizu-chan, what the hell was that?" Izaya hissed. Shizuo mumbled something under the cover of his hand as his face tinged pink once again.

Sighing, Izaya decided to let it slide, seeing as his stomach was growling as ferociously as a tiger at the moment for attention.

"I'm going to order something for us since you paid for pizza last night, okay? I'll be right back."

Watching the slim figure of Izaya walk away, Shizuo slumped in his seat. _What the hell's wrong with you…_ Shizuo reprimanded in his head.

"_I need to observe love for my novel Shizu-chan!"_

_Ah! Right! _Shizuo suddenly remembered their purpose for coming here. Scanning the food court where many other couples and few families sat, he analysed them all quickly before settling his eyes back on a returning Izaya.

"Back! Fish and chips, isn't that ironic? Do ya think maybe they catch some of the fish on display and use 'em?" Izaya asked nonchalantly as he set two platters down. "I hope they got that _pufferfish_-"

"45 degrees to your right, what do you see?" Shizuo quickly interrogated, eyes glinting over bridged fingers which covered the lower half of his face. Izaya's eyes swept over to the target and narrowed as he watched their movements. "Couple? Or not."

Laughs, giggles, and friendly chatter-

A caress here, a caress there-

"Couple," Izaya decided, picking up a chip to munch on, satisfied with his little observation.

"Wrong."

Dropping the chip before it could reach his mouth, Izaya gaped at Shizuo.

"Try again," the blonde shrugged, before Izaya bristled and gazed back at the couple seated diagonally behind Shizuo.

Distant laughter, cautious touches-

Smiles that didn't reach the eyes-

"They want to break up!" Izaya tried again, challenging Shizuo to prove him wrong-

"Wrong."

-which wasn't very challenging at all.

"What?" Izaya gasped. "Then what the hell-"

"They don't want to cross a boundary that exists between the two. My guess is they're both scared and they don't want to break that line of friendship, but they want to take it to the next level. However, they're both too blind to see that one likes the other," Shizuo analysed before smiling and popping a chip into his mouth.

Mouth agape, Izaya didn't feel like he had an appetite anymore.

"Next, two people over there to your left. What are they?"

Izaya's eyes quickly took up the challenge as they darted left and analysed the male and female.

The twitch of fingers with deadly nails that itched to scratch the boy, tapping on the table-

The sudden twitch spasms in the male's face, indicating a mutual anger-

Pursed lips biting back and forth between upper and lower lip-

The awkward distance between the two-

"Friends that are fighting."

"Wrong."

Izaya bristled in his seat, feeling as though his feathers just got extremely ruffled. Grinning, Shizuo popped another chip into his mouth.

"Look at the way her finger is tapping. It's almost stroking the table, _then_ tapping. Like an addiction, she's used to stroking something, but with the tension there, she's itching but she can't." Snapping his eyes back to the manicured fingers that sat a little ways away, Izaya's eyes observed the _stroke, tap, stroke, tap_.

"The guy really wants her back too. They both had an argument, and with their stiff postures, they're just oozing pride and stubbornness. They don't want to be the first to admit they're wrong, but they're itching to just get back together again," Shizuo nonchalantly observed, without even _looking_ at the couple as he took a bite out of his deep fried fish. "Neither of them wants to be the first to say sorry." Before he could take another bite, however, the fish morsel on his fork was slapped back down to his platter childishly. Shizuo blinked at Izaya as the younger male pouted with a glare.

"I hate this. Another one."

* * *

><p>"Ah~ man! I barely learnt anything!" Izaya groaned as he shuffled along beside Shizuo down the streets of Ikebukuro. The sun was setting, and Shizuo's locks of gold shone as he laughed, ruffled by the breeze that danced past.<p>

"It's not something you can pick up that easily Izaya," he chuckled. Izaya glared at the side walk in front of him and kicked at any poor item that decided to fall into his way. Ruffling the shorter man's hair, Shizuo only grinned. "Don't worry you big baby, you'll pick up on it soon. How about I buy you some ice cream for now, hm?" Shizuo asked, tone as condescending as possible. Grumpy still, Izaya only fumed for a few moments longer before nodding his agreement. Shizuo mussed his hair once more before checking both ways for traffic and crossing the road quickly for an ice cream stand across the street.

Sighing, Izaya leaned back on the corner of the brick wall behind him while he combed his hair with his fingers. _Damn, I really didn't learn much today…_ he frowned. _Love is so freaking hard… what the hell…_ The guessing game in the food court and aquarium lasted for another hour or so, and while love guru Shizuo tested love novice Izaya, the writer barely got any of his guesses right. _Tch… his observations probably aren't right either!_

So deep in his thoughts, he had no time to register the rough hands that wrapped around his middle and blocked his mouth and nose from the side. Struggling briefly, Izaya felt himself being dragged backwards into an alleyway that was in between the two buildings he was standing at.

"Hey there cutie- hey, it's a guy!" a sickening, gruff voice barked out. Another thug joined the first as he waved it off.

"It's fine, any pretty person will do. Besides, it's easier to tell when they're turned on," the disgusting second thug grinned as his hand was shoved down Izaya's-

Eyes narrowing in fury and absolute _disgust_, Izaya glared with all his might, frightening enough to almost scare the men away as he was held down. _Oh _hell _no, you did _not_ just put your filthy fucking hands down there_! Raging, Izaya began to struggle again to escape from the dirty, grimy hands as he inched for the flick blade he hid in his pocket. He was used to carrying it around now, a little habit he had developed in high school that had travelled all the way till now, but apparently, a relief he still did. A third man sauntered along as he sniffed Izaya's face before grinning a yellow toothed grin.

"Smells nice, this one. We're gonna have some fun, aren't we boys." Laughing, the three seemed to find this _extremely_ funny until Izaya finally wrenched a hand free and reached into his pocket, fingers grasping the cool handle of his blade-

And then a bus stop shelter, a full, glass walled steel roof bus stop shelter flew out of nowhere and knocked the second and third men out. Eyes widening, Izaya was shocked.

_What the hell was that._

_And where in the _hell_ did it come from._

The man who held Izaya loosened his grip as the devil incarnate himself stomped towards him, a fury and temper that could literally turn the whole city upside down. Izaya took his place against the wall and stared at the wonder that was Heiwajima Shizuo.

"_There's one thing about me I should tell you…" Shizuo hesitantly muttered as Izaya paused in taking a bite out of his sandwich in Shizuo's kitchen._

"_Oh? Since we're being all open, might as well tell me now."_

"_I… don't really want to though… I hate this part of me…"_

"_Nonsense, how bad could it be?"_

_Very bad_, as Izaya witnessed himself what Shizuo did not tell him later that day.

It didn't even take him a minute for all this… _damage_.

Panting, Shizuo stood with his fists clenched to the sides as Izaya stared at the _blood_ and the _violence_ that had just occurred. With bruises that appeared on _contact_, Izaya was sure they shouldn't be alive, but the erratic rises of their filthy chests told him they were. Shocked beyond belief, if Izaya didn't know better, he'd have thought he was dreaming, or he was just placed in the middle of a fantasy action novel.

But he wasn't, and he could tell he wasn't when Shizuo had suddenly snapped his face up in shock and horror as though he had just woken up from a trance, and realized what he had just done. Blood stains littered Shizuo's clothes and face as he began to struggle for breath, stepping back and viewing the damage he had just caused. Snapping his attention back to Izaya, he too, had wide eyes and blood on his face-

_Blood._

"Sh… Shizu-chan?"

_Blood everywhere._

"A-are you… okay, Shizu-chan?"

"_Shizuo, __**stop**__!"_

"I-it's okay, Shizu-?"

"I-I'm sorry, th-they were touching you, and I saw, and I-" Shizuo panicked, stepping back one step.

"It's okay, Shizu-chan, come here-"

"I snapped, and I, I saw red, I couldn't see anything else-"

"Shizu-chan-"

"_Don't come near me_!" Shizuo suddenly screamed, eyes frantic and body trembling as he stepped away from Izaya's outstretched hand. Stunned, Izaya stopped in his tracks as he watched Shizuo break down right there, in front of his own eyes.

"_Shizuo-chan? What's the matter darling, come here, it's okay-"_

And then he ran.

Far from the blood, the smell, the stunned, most likely terrified Izaya, the _violence_-

"_Shizuo? It's okay, come here!"_

But the voices in his head echoed, the smell clung to his nostrils, the taste of blood soiled his mouth, and the memories from long ago were just refreshed and repainted on a side canvas, with Izaya in the middle of it as his voice replaced the old and echoed repeatedly in his head, over and over-

"_Shizu-chan?_"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Kirigamine* : an air-conditioner that Ryuugamine's name is often confused with.

WAAAAHH finally finished editing ahahah

My english is terrible. As promised, chapter 6 is out after my release of my other story, You're My Little Catalyst and I hope you guys liked it! No romantic dates for these two yet, just tiny fluff, and oh!

We're going to enter Shizuo's past soon :) not too deep though, this is a SHIZAYA story, not just Shizuo teehee.

Hope you enjoyed!

Reviews and Criticisms appreciated!


	7. It's Opposite Day

Cold.

It was really cold.

Chilled to the bone and wet from head to toe, the freezing plight of rain showered upon his numb figure, seated on a random wooden bench that was conveniently placed on a sidewalk for tired pedestrians. Cold, but dry passersby stared at Shizuo and gave sympathetic looks to the man who was without an umbrella, and looking as depressed as a kid with a dead dog.

But it was much more complicated than that.

_Fear_.

Fists clenching in his lap, Shizuo bit his lip as his eyes stung to hold in the tears. The moment he woke up from his momentary fit of anger, he saw pure, terrified, _fear_ laced in Izaya's eyes.

Shizuo could read people, something that should have been obvious with the way he could interpret love.

But this was only because he longed for it.

Closing his eyes tightly to prevent his tears from mixing with the rain on his face, Shizuo was simply a young man who wanted to be loved.

Known as a monster from a young age, Shizuo quickly developed a fear of hurting the people he cared for and the people he loved. Distancing himself from others, Shizuo spent hours, days, _years_, honing a calm demeanor and forcing his anger away, just to protect the people around him, but-

It was hard.

It wasn't his fault, really.

It was as simple as a girl getting frustrated that her hair didn't fall the right way.

It was as simple as a boy regretting the fact that he did not take the chance to confess to the girl who attained a new boyfriend.

It was as simple as siblings that got angry when they had to share their favourite toy.

It was as simple as becoming angry at those that insulted you, pitied you, hated you, teased you, bullied you-

But Shizuo's temper was never _simple_.

He would become angry just like all the other kids. He had emotions and feelings just like all the other kids. But his reactions were not like other kids, and that was what had set him apart from society at an early age.

And so, to fit in, to _belong_, Shizuo developed a stage in his childhood where he was a quiet child, silent and merely watching as he looked and observed the daily interactions of a human. He picked up on personality traits, habits, what clashed with who and who would like what. So he became an expert at analyzing human behavior. As he matured, he quickly matched the personality why's with what's that happened in a human's mind.

So he made himself likeable.

He made himself _malleable_ to fit the needs of others, to suit the personalities of others-

But he was not fake.

He did not have a personality for every person that he knew just to please everyone.

No.

He was just lonely.

He calmed himself, became gentler, became stronger, and most importantly-

He kept his anger in check.

_Cars honking, people screaming, blood pouring and senses quickly becoming clogged with _guilt.

Shizuo gripped the hairs on his head as he bit his lips to the point where it bled, and he tried so very hard to block out the incident that happened years ago which had quite frankly-

Ruined his life for a good period of time.

"_Shizu-chan?_"

He just wanted to scream and cry and kick and throw a tantrum like a child could, back in the days. Because not only had he retained an old set of memories that would forever taint his mind, he had just plagued it with a new set of guilt as he pushed away the only one close friend he had.

But maybe he was selfish, to think, that he could become close friends with someone and hide his secret from them.

Hide his temper, his freakish strength, his little flaw that in the end, made him _hate_ himself.

Maybe it really was a little selfish, but who could blame the lonely man who had just pushed away his last hope.

Drowned in sorrow and rain, Shizuo looked up to the sky to see that it wasn't crying on him as much anymore. It refused to show him anymore pity as the clouds lightened up and the rain sprinkled to a stop, and Shizuo realized dully that he should be heading home now, seeing as it was already really late in the evening. Picking up his slumped figure off the sidewalk's bench, Shizuo stood and made his way home with steps that trudged through the streets of Ikebukuro.

Slowly, one foot in front of the other, left, right, left right, coming home became a hassle, as if living was becoming a pain in itself, but Shizuo expected this as he smirked dryly.

He was always meant to be a lonely person, whatever made him think that would change?

And then he started wondering as he slowed his pace to prepare himself for the flight of steps that would lead him to his apartment. His home. His empty, cold, lonely home. What really, _really_, made him think that he wouldn't be alone anymore? What gave him hope that he could lead a normal life with lots of jobs and lots of nice people that didn't know him well?

"_Shizu-chan!"_

And as he slowed to a stop at the top of his steps and widened his gaze at the sight of some big mass of _black_ sitting against his door, the breath in his throat hitched.

And then he suddenly remembered why he didn't feel lonely anymore, as he stared at the exuberant, high-spirited, narcissistic and arrogant author at his door, who raised his head and smiled weakly.

And he suddenly remembered why he felt lonely all over again, as he pictured the events of earlier today that would most likely change Izaya's view on him entirely.

"You take a long time to come home, Shizu-chan," Izaya murmured softly, almost making Shizuo strain his ears just to be able to hear him. Silent, Shizuo stared at him, tempted to rub his eyes and try to determine whether this was a figment of his imagination or whether it really was the author sitting at his door. Standing, the mass of black stretched out to be Izaya in _real_ form as he sought for the roof with one arm and held his elbow with his free hand. "Maa~ you should hurry up and let your guest in Shizu-chan! Especially after they've waited so long for you!"

Dizzy, Shizuo unsteadily reached for the wall beside him as he stared at the image of Izaya that just gave him hope and just _wouldn't_ go away.

_What are you doing here?_ Shizuo wanted to yell, shout, _scream_. _I'm a freak, get away from me!_

_Monster._

_Uncontrollable._

_Unnatural._

Freak.

His lips moved to form the question that would have asked why Izaya was _here_, in front of a monster's apartment, what was he doing there, _why was he still there_-

But the words wouldn't form, and Shizuo's heavy, tired eyes suddenly didn't want to stay open anymore. Body aching and skin feeling so very hot even though the temperature was dropping, Shizuo stumbled as he fought the exhaustion to make it to his door, to make it to Izaya.

_Izaya… Izaya…Iz…_

And the last thing he remembered was a panicked and worry-stricken author run towards him before he suddenly saw everything spin and fall sideways before going black.

* * *

><p>"Let him rest, call up all his jobs, and let him drink lots of water. Try not to feed him anything heavy either, and make sure you cover him with a light blanket <em>only<em>, do _not_ sweat his fever out-"

"Fucking hell I thought I got rid of you years ago," a gruff voice coughed and interrupted, catching two people that were with him in the room off guard. Shizuo blearily opened his eyes and attempted to lift a corner of his lips to greet the long time friend of his-

"Kishitani Shinra, here at your side once more to nag you!" Shinra mock-saluted before breaking into a genuine smile. "It's good to see you again, Shizuo-kun." Izaya smiled as he leaned back on the chair beside Shizuo's bed.

"What a small world huh? Who knew you and Shizu-chan went to the same school as Shin-chan his whole life?" Izaya chuckled as he quickly set to changing the damp cloth on Shizuo's forehead. Shizuo groaned and attempted to get up, but was quickly pushed back down by 2 sets of hands.

"Ah-ah! I don't think so!"

"No! Bad Shizu-chan! Down!"

"Ugh… my head fucking hurts… and my body feels like lifting the whole of Sunshine 60, what the hell?" Shizuo groaned before gladly accepting the cloth that was greatly appreciated on his heated forehead. Shinra tsked as he gently flicked Shizuo's nose and reprimanded him.

"Still the same huh? Overworking yourself and not taking care of your body enough. You have to call your jobs and tell them that you can't work for at least 3 days-"

"_Three_?" Shizuo near-shouted as he suddenly coughed from the sudden strain on his lungs. Izaya pat his chest as he settled Shizuo down again.

"Yes. Three. I would say a week, but knowing you, you won't even stay down a _day_," Shinra scolded.

"Yes, that sounds like Shizu-chan alright," Izaya nodded with a grin.

"I can't take 3 fucking days off, I need to work and pay off the bills-"

"You'll survive! It'll be fine, please, Shizuo-kun, just rest! You've overworked yourself, resulting in overstressing your body and straining your body to the point of _exhaustion_. And on top of that, even though that needs plenty of rest, you got yourself a fever from staying out in the rain last night." Shizuo rolled his eyes as he covered the bottom of his face downwards with his blanket and grumbled 'and this is why I lost contact with you after high school.'

"Ne, Shizu-chan, just rest today? I'll even take care of you!" Izaya pleaded as he wiped the sweat off of Shizuo's face with the damp towel. Shizuo went back to grumbling as he suddenly put two and two together.

"Ehh? So even the Flea knows Shinra, eh?" Shizuo coughed lightly. Blinking, both healthy occupants in the room chuckled at his slow reaction.

"Yes, yes, Shizuo-kun, Orihara-kun and I met in high school. We still kept in contact despite _someone_ else not doing the same, and so I am now Izaya's personal doctor. Naturally, when you fainted I was the first person he called."

"_After_ I dragged you onto the bed!" Izaya chipped in.

And the rain and the blood and the screeching all came back to Shizuo, and he suddenly wanted to curl into a ball and cry. Curling into himself, Shizuo hid his face under the blanket and Shinra took that as his cue to leave, simply interpreting it as Shizuo being irritated. And he knew very well what Shizuo's temper could do.

"Well, I'll take my leave now, but remember my advice Izaya, and take care of him well. Farewell Shizuo-kun, it was nice seeing you again!" Shinra bid goodbye as he picked up his bag with few doctor supplies and left the apartment.

Silence blanketed the two as Izaya gulped, sensing the tension that wouldn't have been able to be cut with Russia Sushi's sashimi knife, Izaya bet.

_I'm a freak._

_I'm a monster._

_What are you still doing here?_

_Get away from me._

"Ne, Shizu-chan… are you hungry?" Izaya questioned gently as he tried to lift the blanket up to peek at his face. Gripping onto the cloth tightly, Shizuo curled into a tighter ball and gathered the blanket to prevent Izaya from coming in. He mumbled a quick 'no', before resigning back into silence once again. "Shinra left some medicine for you to get better… you shouldn't take them on an empty stomach," Izaya chided gently as he tugged at the blanket harder.

"Don't want them. Go away," Shizuo grumbled underneath the blankets. Tugging harder, Izaya frowned.

"Shizu-chan, you're just acting like a child now-!"

"_Don't touch me_!" Shizuo hissed loudly as he raised the blanket enough to glare fiercely at Izaya. The words instantly left a bitter taste on his tongue as his heart clenched and Shizuo immediately regret his words as Izaya's face dropped into a blank expression. Retreating back into his cocoon, Shizuo's eyebrows crinkled together and his frown deepened while his eyes watered simultaneously.

_It's okay. _

_It's better this way._

_Push him away before you actually hurt him._

_It's for the be-_

"Oof."

Shizuo's eyes jumped back open as he felt a sudden weight fall onto his body, and a small silence followed after. Trying to shuffle around slightly, Shizuo blinked several times at the heavy weight that decided to settle itself down on top of his covers which were conveniently on top of him.

"Uh… Izaya…?" Shizuo inquired quietly.

"Hmm?" came the lazy response from on top of him. From the contours of muscle that Shizuo could feel shift around, he had guessed that Izaya settled himself face down on Shizuo's lump in the covers, arms spread out as though he was positioned like Jesus.

"What… are you doing?"

"You told me not to touch you," came the obvious reply, as though it made sense. Shizuo's eyebrows remained crinkled as his eyes stared blankly at a piece of lint that shared the hot breathing space under his blankets.

"So… uh…"

"It's opposite day silly!"Izaya chuckled as he snuggled into a more comfortable spot on top of Shizuo's body that currently lay on his side. "Opposite day means I do the opposite of everything you say."

And that's when Heiwajima Shizuo just wanted to cry.

Eyes tearing at an alarmingly fast rate, and body tensing as his breath froze, Shizuo was unbelievably grateful for the man that had stumbled into his life.

So, _so fucking_ grateful.

The arms of Jesus came to hug his form tightly through the covers as Shizuo tried to even out his hitched breathing and Izaya was content to lay on his 'best friend' happily.

_You aren't a monster,_ the voices suddenly whispered in his head, a familiar, arrogant and soothing voice that always called out his ridiculous nickname.

_It's opposite day remember?_

_You're not a monster._

_You aren't a freak._

_I'll touch you, come near you, I won't go away._

_You aren't a monster._

_It's opposite day, remember?_

Just for that moment under the covers, hidden from the outside, Shizuo allowed himself to shed a single lopsided tear that fell onto the sheets in a quick escape as a feeble voice (his own, he realized) whispered in his head–

_Can it be opposite day every day?_

* * *

><p>Feet propped on the coffee table and body slumped on his rather cushiony couch, Shizuo was wrapped in his covers like a super hero as he brought it around his being and blankly watched TV. Well, his attention wasn't <em>exactly<em> on the TV, per se. More like his attention kept shifting over to the author who sat on his left, having just returned from his own apartment quickly to grab his sleeping wear because he had abruptly decided '_I am sleeping over tonight, no excuses!_' With eyes concentrated on a laptop screen that was settled in the crook of his legs that were also propped up on the coffee table, Izaya's eyes were sometimes hidden behind the shine of his glasses that reflected the monochrome colours of his electronic device. So focused in his work, Izaya sipped from his coffee mug and slowly set it back beside his feet, eye still skimming over the words in his document, unaware of the stares he was getting from his companion.

Curious and desperate to have a sneak peek of one of Izaya's works in progress, Shizuo inched closer to Izaya and slowly craned his neck over to take a look. Eyes widening and lips quirking into a smile, he could see!

_Trapped, she screamed until she was sure her throat bled and her hands bruised with the desperate attempt to escape her claustrophobic prison. Tears streamed from her naïve eyes which viewed her man as the perfect lover, _the one_ in her life-_

_But she was dead wrong._

_Kicking and screaming in her coffin, the last moments of her life-_

Snap.

Shizuo blinked as the device had suddenly shut and he quickly shifted back into a more comfortable position while 'watching' TV. _Wait for it…_

"_Shizu-chan_!"

_Ah, there it is._

"You had _no right_ to read that!" the young author screeched, flustered that someone had taken a look at his incomplete 'rubbish' book. "That's totally unfair to all my other _millions_ of fans, why should _you _have any special privileges? There are so many-"

_In one ear and out the other_, Shizuo thought pleasantly as he sat in content, incessant nagging successfully blocked off from his ears. The images on the TV screen flickered several colours that kept Shizuo _slightly_ entertained for the moment until a tug on his blanket had him leaning down and several inches in Izaya's personal space. Glowing crimson eyes glared at him up close as Izaya gripped his shoulder through the blanket.

"You weren't listening, were you," Izaya threatened over the top of his glasses which lay askew on his nose now. Shizuo simply grinned in response as Izaya pushed him away forcefully and began his nagging once again. "Shizu-chan!" the writer whined now. "You aren't supposed to see these things, the suspense is all supposed to build up and create a dramatic tension that leads to the climax! The book will be spoiled and ruined if you just keep reading before it even reaches my editor! And besides- _Shizu-chan listen to me!_" the author fumed as Shizuo laughed and leaned in his couch to a more relaxed, laidback position. Izaya's fuming had calmed down after a while as he saw the pointlessness in talking to a sick and dazed Shizu-chan, and sighed, settling for nuzzling his head on Shizuo's shoulder.

"So mean," Izaya sighed loudly as he settled for tucking his legs to the side of his body and leaving his laptop on the far end of the couch away from the two. Relaxed and totally at ease, Shizuo found Izaya's head extremely comfortable as he rested his own head against wisps of soft, inky hair. A silence had enveloped the two, opening an opportunity for Shizuo's mind to start thinking again.

_You're a monster, don't let anyone come near you._

_What are you doing? __Push him away._

_Freak._

_Monster._

_Don't forget what you did._

_Don't forget, never forget. _

_Monster, monster, monster-_

Fists clenching, Shizuo's position on the couch tensed, but Izaya said nothing as his pillow had turned from a comforting surface to jagged, muscled rocks. And yet, the voices persisted in Shizuo's head kept whispering, louder and louder-

_What are you doing?_

_Get away from him._

_Don't drag him into your monstrous life._

_Push him away._

_What are you doing?_

_Get rid of him, you don't need him._

_You can't _have_ him._

_You'll just hurt him._

_What are you doing?_

And just as Shizuo had built enough moral and strength to push the author away, Izaya growled and ripped the blanket from Shizuo's shoulder. Blinking in surprise and shock, as though he had woken up from another trance, Izaya harrumphed and settled the blanket over both their shoulders as he tucked his legs and settled onto Shizuo's side comfortably once again. Even closer than their previous position, Shizuo stared at the lithe figure beside him, mouth slightly open.

"So selfish Shizu-chan! Hogging the entire blanket to yourself," Izaya huffed, resting his eyes from the strain they were receiving from being hunched over a laptop. Subconsciously turning his head to hide his face in the black locks of hair beside him, Shizuo closed his eyes in relief and let gratefulness wash over his entire being again. _How do you know exactly what to do to me…?_ Shizuo asked quietly in his mind as he breathed in the scent of Izaya, bittersweet and somewhat soothing. Dizzy from remnants of his fever and the intensity of his emotions washing over him, Shizuo raised his head and glanced down at the man who surprisingly was looking back at him.

Lost in a pool of blood and androgynous facial features that could categorise the younger man as 'pretty', Shizuo gulped as his eyes strayed to different parts of Izaya's face, before decidedly settling on his lips for longer than usual. His gaze snapped back up to Izaya's eyes as he realized his little daydream and he blamed the fever for the heat rushing to his cheeks.

Confused at the instant flush in colour, Izaya raised a hand from out of the covers and brought it to Shizuo's forehead.

"That's strange, I thought you were getting better!" Izaya frowned, taking his hand away as Shizuo turned his face around and coughed awkwardly into the palm of his hand, heart pounding furiously.

"You should, uh, change into your pajamas now. I'll take the couch tonight-"

"I brought my inflatable mattress and sleeping bag, it's fine," Izaya waved off as he stood from the couch and teasingly covered Shizuo's face with the blanket. Hurriedly burrowing out of the blankets, Shizuo suddenly warned Izaya.

"You better not have brought those silly cow pajamas."

And judging by the tense stiffening of Izaya's shoulders as he paused over his duffle bag in the corner of the room, Shizuo was correct. Turning his head slightly, Izaya glared at Shizuo over his shoulder.

"…What's _wrong_ with my moomoo pajamas… huh?"

"If you wear those fucking cow pajamas, I'm sending you to a slaughterhouse."

"_Shizu-chan_!" Izaya immediately complained. He was about to voice another complaint until he noticed the expression on Shizuo's face. Now, Izaya was hopeless at love, he will begrudgingly admit that, (to himself and himself _only_) but he was very good at reading his lovely humans.

And Shizu-chan was no exception.

With a faraway, distant look in his eyes and a forced smile that crinkled small ages lines in his face forcefully, Izaya knew full well when smiles reached eyes, and Shizuo's didn't. Izaya was about to voice his concern, but Shizuo beat him to it.

"Hey Izaya… can I… introduce you to someone?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I am SOOO sorry guys for several reasons

Uh, 1) is for delivering this to you guys so late! I meant to upload earlier but I was just never happy with this thing y'know? Kept changing it around and crap-

and 2) I REALLLLYYY need to stick to my word. Even though I said we would delve into Shizuo's past this chapter, we didn't EVEN. SO SORRY! I PROMISE the next one we ACTUALLY REALLY WILL BE going into Shizuo's past.

So instead, I made this chapter a little tiny bit fluffy in return, even though it's like a pre-filler part to his past. SO SORRY

And now I would like to voice my THANK YOUS to everyone who reads, reviews, favourites and yeah, because I am really SO grateful to you guys! You guys make my day and keep my inspiration going so that I may be able to see this story to the finish line ^^ So thanks SO MUCH and SO VERY SORRY but thanks for staying with me!

*hearts*

Reviews and Criticisms are appreciated!


	8. Can I tell you a story?

**A/N: **So... Hi?

I'm sooo sorry guys! I know that some of you may have been really waiting and I just realised you guys waited TWO MONTHS for this, and I'm soooo sorry! At least I FINALLY have Shizuo's past covered, and I know it goes a little off track from the story, but it'll get back into it next chapter.

BUT YEAHH high school exams got hectic and when they finally finished I just couldn't find the flowing style my writing usually has, so this chapter was kinda really forced so that I could get it out to you guys, cause honestly, you guys deserve it, for those who support me and even review as well so thanks so much! Thank you for giving me the encouragement to continue, and I'll see this story through to the end just for you guys ^^ so yeahh

as a present for leaving you guys for so long, I made this chapter a DOUBLE chapter, so it's TWICE as long as a normal chapter, yay ;D hope you enjoy ! It's for the torture I made you guys wait through, so here you go!

I didn't really want to separate the flashbacks with the line breaks but if I didn't it got confusing, so sorry for the ugly layout...

and also it's three in the morning and i have work in four hours, so I couldn't edit this as well as I wanted to.

But I really cannot thank you guys enough.

Enjoy your reading!

Reviews and Criticisms appreciated!

* * *

><p>A week had passed since Izaya had slept over at Shizuo's apartment and the two were so busy with their jobs that there just wasn't time for them to properly meet each other until today.<p>

_"Hey Izaya… can I… introduce you to someone?"_

Opening his eyes from the memory, a small frown pulled at his lips as he thought back to the despair he could remember seeing on Shizuo's face.

In his _eyes_.

Lifting his face and facing the cloudy, light sky, the red scarf around his neck did nothing to warm his red nose and pink cheeks as he breathed out puffs of crystalised breath, and entertained himself for the moment, leaning on the Shinjuku park fountain where the two had first bonded. Izaya fondly fingered the wool of the scarf he had never returned back to Shizuo and clung to his own frame a little tighter with the other arm, dressed in a black double-breasted tight-fitting coat and black fitting jeans.

Thankfully over the week, Shizuo had cured himself from his cold, and as usual, continued working. He was now waiting for the blonde by the fountain for him to finish his Shinjuku job, which Izaya still didn't have any idea about. Pouting, Izaya sat on the edge of the fountain and glanced at the watch on his wrist, impatiently scuffling his feet for any sign of the blonde.

"Izaya."

Perking his head up at the sound of a voice he knew well, Izaya almost smiled at the sight of the man, if it weren't for his disheveled and tired look. Izaya froze on his spot, staring at the man that stood a few feet away from him.

To be honest and frank with you, Izaya will tell you.

He looked like shit.

He looked like Izaya did after staying up 3 nights in a row to make it for a writing deadline.

Which was pretty shit

Shizuo made his way towards the shorter male with heavy footsteps as Izaya stood from his spot and stared up at the blonde in question.

"You look like shit."

And Izaya cringed at the forced tug of Shizuo's lips that dragged itself upwards on one side of his face as he stopped in front of Izaya and nodded his head in greeting. Desperate to lighten the tense mood between the two, Izaya began to skip towards the direction of the train station and started doing what he did best.

"So, what did Shizu-chan do this past week?" Izaya sang, glancing behind at the trudging blonde from time to time.

If talking was what he did best, he'd put it to good use.

Shrugging, Shizuo kicked a pebble in his path and continued walking beside the writer who was now feeling his mood drop slowly. This had continued for a while, even as the two had settled in the train and held onto the handlebars above their heads. Izaya talked and talked as Shizuo simply nodded his head and held a faraway gaze in his eyes, even as they exited the train in Ikebukuro.

Pouting, Izaya's eyebrows wrinkled together in hard thought as he thought about the past week or two in terms of Shizuo's behavior.

What was wrong with him?

The man texted his replies around an hour or so later, which was extremely odd compared to his fast 5-10 minute replies. Whenever the two chanced a meeting at the café, the diligent hard-working Shizuo had become a quiet empty shell as Izaya watched over the lid of his laptop.

And whenever anyone tried to _speak_ to the man, he took ages to respond, and even then, his response was to ask what the person had said and repeat it again.

Glancing worriedly at the man that was simply _trudging _beside him, Izaya had no clue of what to do. Should he ask him what was wrong? Would he even _respond_? Izaya was puzzled as to whether he should be doing something, or whether this was just something that would pass over. Izaya had grown to care for himself only, since his sisters already had each other. This alien feeling of being worried for someone other than the twin devils was odd, and Izaya didn't want to act on an impulse that would just make their relationship awkward.

But it was worth a shot, wasn't it?

"Shizu-chan, what-"

"We're here…" the blonde muttered for the first time in that period of travel time. Blinking, Izaya didn't even realize they walked that far until he turned his gaze to look at a homely looking white house, a rare sight in the bustling city of Ikebukuro. Two storeys in height with glass doors on the balcony and a burnt orange tiled roof, Izaya decided it suited Shizuo's family home. Which had then led Izaya to the sudden realization-

_Who am I meeting_?

And just as he had opened his mouth to voice his question, Shizuo turned his key and the lock clicked out of its place.

The scent of a homey chamomile tea was the first to assault Izaya's senses, right before the door had opened to reveal cream walls, timbered floors and a calm atmosphere that drew Izaya in. Gazing in wonder at the home he had just entered, he had mindlessly taken his shoes off right behind Shizuo and followed behind the shuffling blonde. And just as the two had entered the abode, Shizuo tilted his head towards Izaya and muttered-

"We're visiting my mother."

_What_.

"Shizu-"

"Shizuo?" a voice called from the kitchen. Unfamiliar with such a gentle, kind, and _warm_ motherly voice, Izaya perked up at the sound that drifted from his right as the two shuffled forward; Shizuo begrudgingly and Izaya curiously. "Sweetie, I'm in the kitchen."

"Coming!" Shizuo called obediently as he guided Izaya through the home. Frowning, Izaya stared at the back of his companion in question. And finally, before Izaya could ask _why_ he was meeting this woman, the two made it to the kitchen, and Izaya's breath was taken away.

Seated behind the counter was, Izaya was not exaggerating, a _beautiful_ woman. With long, flowing brown hair that framed a perfectly shaped face, and endearing chocolate eyes that would warm anyone's soul, Izaya couldn't stop staring.

_This… Is Shizu-chan's mom?_

Glancing up from whatever she was doing behind the kitchen island, she broke out into a tender smile that filled Izaya's heart with motherly love. _This woman is amazing…_ Izaya stared in awe at the woman who had him captivated.

"Welcome! Ah, my Shizu-chan has come home! And with a friend too!" Izaya almost burst out laughing. His own little pet name for Shizu-chan was something his mother also came up with as well? Oh this was rich. Hilarious. Absolutely adorably humiliating.

If it weren't for the fact that the captivating beauty had rolled around the corner in a wheelchair to greet the two, Izaya's heart wouldn't have stopped and he would have laughed to his heart's content.

But this was not the case as she came around, bound to a wheelchair with immobile legs that shocked the air out of Izaya's lungs, and clenched his heart.

_What… Why…?_

Usually, Izaya was not a person of guilt, remorse or pity. He was the one who laughed when everyone was in despair, when other humans flailed about and struggled to survive the game that he called 'life'. Grasping for that thin rope to salvation, Izaya laughed at them all.

But with an _amazing_ woman who set such an _amazing_ first impression on him, Izaya could feel his insides squirm about at the unfamiliar sensations of sadness and _regret_ for something that wasn't even his fault.

Noticing his shocked expression, the kind-hearted lady only continued to smile at Izaya and motioned for Shizuo to come closer. Being the tall 6 foot 1 inch human he was, Shizuo bent down low to his mother's level. Smiling, she caressed her son's cheeks and brushed his long bangs away from his face.

"Despite what you see, do not judge my son, and please take his words into perspective, whatever he tells you," the woman told Izaya kindly. "I love my son, and do take into mind that he is not at fault, please?" Izaya's eyes widened at the woman's words, as her eyes crinkled at the corners, giving her a half-lidded expression of absolute _love_ and _care_. At those words, she brushed the blonde locks away from Shizuo's face and kissed his forehead softly.

But what confused Izaya the most, and what clenched his heart that little _teeny_ bit more, was the expression Shizuo had as his mother spoke on his behalf, and kissed him.

He looked like he was going to cry.

"But with that aside, where are my manners? I am Heiwajima Namiko. Pleasure to meet you," she introduced, holding her hand out. Dressed in an orange sweater with a cream coloured blanket that covered her hips downwards, Izaya reached forward to shake hands with her, almost raising a brow at the western expression. At least he could see where Shizuo's politeness came from.

* * *

><p>"Milk or sugar with your tea, Izaya?" her voice asked sweetly, holding a small jug of milk in her hands. Izaya politely declined, saying he took his tea black.<p>

But he still couldn't believe the awkwardness of the situation as he sat in the Heiwajima home lounge, drinking tea like he had been there often. The woman smiled at him and set to making her son's tea, 3 and a half spoons of sugar and 1/3 cup of milk, just how Izaya knew Shizuo liked his tea.

"Shizu-chan, I haven't seen you in a while, how is my baby doing?" Namiko asked, stirring his tea four times, just as he liked it Izaya had noticed, and handed it to the sulking boy on the couch.

That was the conclusion Izaya had come to.

He was sulking.

Familiarizing Shizuo's mannerisms with his own when he was sulking, Izaya didn't know any other word for it.

"I'm okay…" Shizuo murmured, sipping at his tea gently. "How is Kasuka?" Shizuo inquired. Izaya raised a brow at the new name, but assumed it was his sibling. Possibly younger if he didn't refer to him as 'older bro'.

"Kasuka does call in from time to time, haven't you been in contact with him?" the woman pouted, tilting her head. Izaya had to stop himself from jolting in shock at the wince Shizuo had just twitched, a visible sign of pain that apparently affected him quite harshly.

"No…"

Putting a finger to her cheek and tilting her head cutely, Shizuo's mother pouted.

"That's odd… he told me he does keep in contact with you…"

Even Izaya could tell that the two brothers obviously didn't have such a good relationship. Shizuo winced at the blatant lie Kasuka told his mother, but the older male chose not to say anything.

"Where's father?" Shizuo decided on asking, swiftly changing topics. Namiko straightened up in her chair and smiled gently, clasping her hands on her lap. Which had dragged Izaya's eyes down to her hands, to her blanket, to her legs, then her wheelchair-

"Even at his old age, the old man's still working," the woman chuckled. Shizuo nodded and obediently sipped at his tea, whereas Izaya decided to take a more curious approach.

"Uh, if you don't mind me asking, what does Shizuo's father do?" Izaya inquired politely.

"He's a doctor! Specializes in the emergency ward actually," Namiko beamed. Izaya paused in shock to let the information register in his system. Blinking a few times to wake himself up from his stupor, Izaya began to praise the man.

"Really? That's amazing! I also know someone else in the medical profession!" Izaya chuckled, glancing towards Shizuo to make eye contact and indicate he was talking about Shinra, but-

The blonde refused to make eye contact as he kept his head towards the glass verandah doors on the side and never turned back. Izaya's chuckles faded as he stared at the odd behavior of Shizuo, and opened his mouth to speak.

"Shi-"

"Ah, Shizu-chan, you're busy today, yes?" the woman hurriedly interrupted. Jolting in surprise, Izaya snapped his attention towards the suddenly jumpy woman, and suddenly understood.

_His relationship with his family isn't as good as I thought_… Izaya realized, despite the loving family portraits that hung around the Heiwajima family home. Instead of turning to face his mother, Shizuo simply nodded and stood to clear the china ware that previously held cups of steaming English imported tea. As he left the room and his footsteps thudded off to a none-too-distant part of the beautifully architecturally designed house, Namiko turned her sober gaze to a slightly surprised Izaya.

"Please take care of him well."

Izaya had no time to process her words carefully as he stared, wide-eyed at the mother of his 'best friend'.

"What do you-"

"Izaya," Shizuo beckoned, slipping his coat back onto his shoulders. Izaya was just about frustrated with this whole being cut off when he was talking thing, and had just huffed in response, grabbing his coat to slip it back over his own gray sweater. Guiding the two males to her front door, Namiko wheeled right behind them, a sunny smile on her face as the two turned to say goodbye. Shizuo bowed and gave a much politer farewell than Izaya, who had forced a smile onto his lips and waved, bowing his head.

"Pleasure meeting you Izaya-kun," the woman said warmly, waving. The grays in her hair blended well with the chestnut brown waves in the sun as Izaya simply nodded, and replied with a rather calm 'you too.' The two walked quietly over to the front gate, and as soon as the two left the Heiwajima residence, and entered the busy streets of Ikebukuro, Izaya snapped.

"_What is going ON_!" he wanted to scream, but once again, he was beaten to it.

"Can I tell you a story, Izaya?"

* * *

><p>"<em>What else did you do today, Shizu-chan?" the gentle voice laughed, a woman at the stance of 5 ft 5" asked to the little boy that swung her hand energetically. Chocolate brown hair that looked black in the shadows swayed in the breeze as bright honey eyes regarded his mother enthusiastically.<em>

"_I painted!" he cheered, swinging his legs out in accordance to his arms._

"_Oh? What did you paint, sweetheart?" she asked cheerfully as she paused at the traffic light and squeezed Heiwajima Shizuo's hand gently. _

"_I painted you! And daddy and Kasuka! And me! We were at the park together!" the 10 year old claimed with a toothy grin. The pedestrian light swapped from a fluorescent red to an aquamarine green as the two proceeded to cross the momentarily suspended traffic flow of cars._

"_You're going to have to show mummy! I can't wait to see it!" _

"_Uh-huh! But you have to buy me ice cream first mom! And pudding!"_

_Laughter melodically floated in the air and joined the bustle of Ikebukuro's citizens as the two headed towards the convenience store. Kneeling in front of the glass doors of their destination, Namiko smiled and combed through her son's messy locks of chocolate. _

"_Now, buy whatever you want with this money today, since you deserve it," the woman began, handing the boy, whose eyes lit up like it was Christmas, a yen note. "And I'll be right back okay? Mom just needs to go to the bank across the road okay?" the mother confirmed, kissing the boy on the forehead. Shizuo nodded with another one of his famous toothy grins and ran into the convenience store where the kind, gentle old man greeted the frequent customer with a smile and a free chocolate bar._

_But it was his childish naivety that made him believe nothing would go wrong in the time span of 5 minutes._

_After all, you'd never expect your mother to be paralysed for life in those few moments that you let go of her hand._

* * *

><p>Trembling, his breathing was unsteady as his frame shook from his seated position on the black sheets of Izaya's luxury double bed. Izaya was unsure of what to do.<p>

Arrogant, uncaring and brash Heiwajima Shizuo was _shaking_.

With his head bowed low, his blonde locks of hair swaying and his hands fidgeting uncomfortably together between his knees where his elbows rested on his thighs-

Izaya had no idea what to do.

The Orihara was more of a direct and straight-forward person, which had helped him at the apartment a week ago, that night when Shizuo was insecure, but _this_?

Izaya had a feeling the poor man would break, had he done _anything_ direct or straightforward right now.

"Shizuo…" Izaya began, unsure of whether he should touch the man.

"_I wish I was never born this way!"_ the man suddenly shouted, and Izaya's hand hovered in the air between them hesitantly, a flock of birds cast a foreboding shadow in the room and the sun bled the beginning of its rays of dying orange.

* * *

><p><em>She was a little silly to not have checked.<em>

_She had done the basics of turning her head left and right for any oncoming traffic, and she found none, but she had assumed that cars would be able to stop on time, just like all crossing pedestrians did._

_But the screeching of tyres, the smell of burning rubber and the sounds of a horn honking were overwhelming to her senses as she felt herself fall with a flying force and a sickening thud. The scent of blood filled her nostrils, but amazingly, it was not as strong as she thought it would be. Her surroundings spun and her palms and knees bled, but as her vision cleared and her eyes blinked from the shock of everything, she heard a car door slamming, angry cussing and the kind voice of a gentleman._

"_-am. Ma'am? Ma'am, are you okay?"_

"_The fuck if I care if she's okay, watch where you're going you stupid woman!" _

"_Excuse me, I'm going to have to ask you to leave, the lady is injured."_

"_W-what happened just now?" Namiko asked dazedly. Blinking, her vision finally cleared back to normal as she gazed into deep, grey eyes framed behind rectangular glasses. The gentleman was dressed in a brown suit with a red tie as he helped her to her feet, Namiko wincing as the scrapes on her knee wouldn't allow her to do so without pain._

"_You fucking walked right in front of my car-"_

"_This man _rudely_ ran a red light while you crossed the road, but luckily I was able to push you out of the way,' the man with the glasses explained as Namiko nodded. She suddenly bowed to the driver and apologized, whereas the aggressive man merely huffed and returned to his vehicle to unblock the traffic jam he had just caused._

_Leading her to the sidewalk, Namiko couldn't thank the man enough. Bowing over and over again, she expressed her gratitude._

"_Thank you so much sir! Really, what would have happened to me if I hadn't-"_

"_No, no, it's quite alright!" the modest businessman chuckled, shyly scratching the back of his neck. Namiko winced and surveyed the damage on her palms as the man leaned forward to help. "I'm sorry there was no easier way to save you-" and at the sight of glinting gold on her left hand, he abruptly paused in his words. Eyes narrowing, Namiko glanced up at the man who was glaring down at her hands._

_Or rather, the golden wedding band on her finger._

"_Um… sorry… I didn't quite catch your name…?" Namiko tried, attempting to remove the animosity from the gentleman's eyes. Snapping out of it, he smiled kindly at her._

"_Haruno Keitaro. Sorry, that was rude of me." Namiko shook her head and introduced herself in turn, blinking in surprise as he abruptly cut her off. "Ah, do wait here; I'll go get some help! One of my friends knows first aid!" 'Keitaro' offered, bowing his head. _

"_No! That's fine, you don't need to-" she began, but he had cut her off, already jogging around the corner._

"_No, I insist! I hurt you after all!"_

_After awkwardly holding her hands up in protest for a moment longer, she lowered them and sighed, feeling like she was a burden. _Ah well, _she thought to herself. She glanced over to her pride and joy who was still choosing between what dessert to buy through the glass walls and chuckled as she turned to the ATM which was a few feet away._

_Humming to herself, her flowing brown hair was brushed to one side over her shoulder as her fingers skimmed over the ATM's options. Withdrawing the required amount, she finally completed her little task that had a bump in her original plans, and turned to return to her son._

_But-_

"_Woah, woah, _woah,_ Namiko-chan, where you going so fast?" a sinister voice whispered in her ear. Heart stopping, her body froze over as an arm began to wrap around her waist in a way that should have only been familiar to family. Namiko turned her gaze to stare at none other than Haruno Keitaro._

_And then her heart just dropped._

_Around the corner, following after him were 3 more street thugs, all eying her as if she was their feast for dinner._

"_Lucky I caught her, right boys?" 'Keitaro' laughed, beginning to drag her towards a sedan that slowly parked on the curb right beside the men. Namiko began to struggle, but one of them had covered her mouth and began to drag her towards the car. The tinted window lowered to reveal-_

You!_ Namiko thought in absolute horror, as she stared at the filthy grin of the man that had nearly run over her._

It was all a setup!_ Namiko began to panic as her efforts in struggling became harder and the men became rougher._

"_Hey, c'mon pretty, one night and then we'll let you run back to your _husband,_" one of the men spat, grasping her arm in a way that would surely bruise in a moment._

"_Yeah, what say pretty lady?"_

"_Namiko_-chan_."_

_And before she could form any proper warning or try to prevent the disaster that was about to occur, her heart stopped, her blood ran cold, and her eyes widened in frantic fear as she ripped her mouth away from the vicious hands and screamed at the very top of her lungs-_

"**Shizuo, STOP**!"

* * *

><p>"<em>A car accident?" sharp golden eyes narrowed in question as a calloused hand held a coffee cup to his lips. Roughly cut, tousled black hair brushed against his forehead as he stood from his seat and stared down at the emergency nurse who was assigned to escort him to the patient. <em>

"_Not… quite…" the woman murmured, toeing at the ground and averting her eyes. Brow twitching and frustration growing, the handsome male sighed in frustration and set his coffee mug down on his office desk._

"_What is it then, Mariko-san, I don't have time for this."_

"_Well… the car had collided with the patient yes…"_

"_Yes?"_

"_But it was thrown sir."_

_A tense silence hung between the two as the young assistant nurse finally had the courage to look the surgical demon in the eye and gulped._

"…_Thrown?" the older male scoffed incredulously, brushing his black locks of hair back with his left hand, which had caught the attention of Mariko as gold glinted in the light on one of his fingers. "I don't quite understand, how a car could be _thrown-_"_

"_Heiwajima-san-"_

"_MOM!"_

_Eyes widening, Heiwajima Kichirou whipped around and stormed outside of his office and searched for the source of the child's cry, a scream he knew all too well._

"_MOM! I'M SORRY, MOM WAKE UP!"_

"_Shizuo!" the doctor shouted, running towards the ruckus. A male nurse held the young ten year old boy and restrained him from following the stretcher that was _just_ run into an operating room._

"_DAD!" the boy screamed, tears streaming and hands bloodied and clothes dirtied-_

"_Shizuo, what's wrong? What happened?" the frantic male panicked._

"_Dad! Help mom, _help mom_!" the boy screamed, drowning himself in his tears as three male nurses were forced to hold him down. Kichirou was about to stomp over and tear the stranger's hands off of his son but the emergency operating doors behind him slammed open._

"_HEIWAJIMA-SAN!"_

_Whipping around to face the chaos that waited within the operating room, Kichirou, for once, was afraid._

_He didn't know what to do._

"_Heiwajima-san, we need you _right now_!" the nurse shouted, dragging the man away from his first born son._

"_But my son-"_

"_Your _wife_ is in that operating room hanging on a _thread_!" the woman screamed._

_And then Heiwajima Kichirou ran._

_It was the last time Heiwajima Shizuo had ever received any compassion from his father._

* * *

><p>Izaya wasn't sure if the blonde wasn't aware of it, or if he chose to ignore it, but tears threatened to fall past his dark lashes as his hands clenched and unclenched.<p>

But even so, he still wasn't sure if he should touch the blonde in that moment.

"I-I didn't know I had that strength back then. I was just, just angry, and then the next thing I knew, these hands threw a fucking car and _paralysed_ my own mother. Like the time those guys tried to, to touch you and I, I just lost it, I-" and before he could finish, he clenched at his pants leg and covered his eyes with his other forearm as he grit his teeth.

"I'm a fucking monster."

* * *

><p>"<em>Oh. It's <em>you_," a scathing, deep voice sounded from within the room. Sniffling, Heiwajima Shizuo, aged ten, slowly walked over to his mother's bed where she lay, sat up and propped by pillows as her husband held her hands. Peeking around to look at the visitor, Namiko smiled in glee, beckoning her son over despite the contrast between the two parents' attitudes._

"_Shizuo-chan!" Namiko called over, inviting him to sit with her on the bed, despite the fact that Shizuo could deduct from the bandages all over her being and the blanket covering her legs and the wheelchair at the side of her bed-_

_That he had paralyzed her._

Monster.

_It was at the age of ten, that Shizuo had developed his own scathing voice in his head that reminded him every single day-_

_You're a monster._

"_Shizuo-chan? What's the matter darling, come here, it's okay!"_

_Shizuo cringed away from the undeserved affection as his father melted him on the spot with his scathing, glowing golden eyes. His bandaged and cast-covered arm wasn't even carried out by his father, as the doctor claimed _he did not treat people like him_. _

"_Shizuo? It's okay, come here!" she beckoned, that same sweet smile still plastered on her face. But Shizuo couldn't see past her smile. He couldn't see past the blood and the gore and the violence that he could imagine so clearly in his head, events that had happened a mere 2 weeks ago as the post-traumatic stress began to eat at him._

_The overwhelming smell of copper and burning bodies as 2 of the 5 men had sustained serious burns, and all of them suffered broken bones and burns-_

_But his mother out of all 6 victims, had suffered the worst._

* * *

><p>"<em>Kasuka," Shizuo inquired quietly, putting his crayon down and glancing at his younger brother's work of art. His quiet little brother, aged 7, kept on colouring. "Kasuka," Shizuo tried again, eyebrows dropping in sadness and lips twitching upwards in the attempt of a grin. "Can I please borrow your red crayon?"<em>

_Still no answer._

_Smile faltering, Shizuo didn't give up and wiped his eyes before any excess moisture could form. He set his crayons down, and packed them away as he stared at his simplistic drawing of a dog and cat under a tree on a grassy field, his imagination having failed him this time around. He leaned over the low rise table to look at Kasuka's drawing who seemed intent on colouring his sky a perfect blue._

"_What'd you draw Kasu...ka…" Shizuo faltered as he felt his heart drop to his stomach, swallowing the lump that formed in his throat._

_Drawn in crayon and coloured in for emphasis, a mother with long brown hair, a father with short black hair and another smaller boy with long black hair all held hands on a grassy hill with a blue sky that totally enclosed the family of three and left no room for a fourth as Shizuo realized-_

_It was a family without the monster._

* * *

><p>The sun had set long ago, casting a dark, shadowy atmosphere in the confines of Izaya's room as Shizuo's story had led to him breaking down on the floor and Izaya helplessly watching from the bed. But the tears that never fell had long dried and the story had long since ended, as Shizuo leaned against the bed and rested his head on the inside of Izaya's knee and lower thigh. Wrapped in his own cocoon of Izaya's blanket that the black haired male had offered earlier, Shizuo's eyes dully stared ahead of himself listlessly as Izaya soothingly ran his fingers through the golden locks of Shizuo's mane.<p>

He was past the stage of grief and was now in silent brooding as Izaya hopelessly continued stroking his hair, soothing the pain away as best as he could, as he knew for the moment, no words would console the blonde because no words would be able to go through to him. Night had fallen and the moon shone brightly from its place as finally, the blankets rustled in movement and Shizuo sat up from his position. Izaya stiffened and cautiously watched and waited for Shizuo to do something, _anything_, seeing as they sat in silence like that for the past two hours. The blankets fell to his feet and pooled around the tall figure of the blonde as he stood, bowed his head without turning to face Izaya, and muttered.

"Sorry for intruding."

Eyes widening, Izaya's heart threatened to leap out of his chest as he jumped off his position on the bed and started to follow after the blonde that began to walk away.

"Wait, where are you going, Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked frantically. But his plea was unheard as Shizuo continued his aimless walking and slowly made his way down the stairs, to the main floor of Izaya's apartment and grabbed his coat off the couch. "Shizu-chan!" Izaya called out desperately, afraid to touch him, but afraid to let him go as well.

For all the raven-haired man knew, the blonde could be heading out to walk off of a building right now.

In which that scary imagery had forced him to suddenly try harder as Shizuo slipped his shoes on and opened the front door.

"_Shizu-chan!"_

And the sound of the door shutting closed resonated in his apartment and his ears, louder than it certainly should have been.

And Izaya suddenly understood.

"_I'm a fucking monster."_

"_Don't touch me!"_

"_There's one thing about me I should tell you…"_

"_I… don't really want to though."_

"_**Don't come near me!**"_

"Shizu-chan, you _idiot_!"

* * *

><p>Numb.<p>

Absolutely, and totally numb was what he felt at the moment.

Devoid of any emotion, Shizuo felt drained as he leaned against the wall of the elevator and watched the floors light up and pass out as he slowly began to reach his destination.

What was the point of that?

Why did he just spill his heart out to a man he barely knew, barely _knows_.

Why did he feel compelled to explain himself for the monstrosity he was, when there were really _no _excuses at all for his freakish behavior.

Feeling stupid and finding life rather pointless at the moment, the elevator doors dinged and he straightened his stance but something…

At the very back of his mind, there was a hope that the man, _that_ man, Orihara Izaya, would _accept_ him, even if nobody else did.

Even if everybody turned their backs on Shizuo, and betrayed him, back-stabbed him, double-crossed him-

He felt it would have all been fine, as long as Izaya was by his side.

And as he strode out the elevator doors and left the building to catch a taxi back home, he felt so empty.

Why?

_You're a monster_.

Shizuo lolled his head to face the window of the taxi as he watched the city lights pass by in a luminescent glow. Eyes struggling to stay moist as the sudden lack of tears had his eyes suddenly dry out, Shizuo closed his eyes and straight away, the images plagued him.

The next moment when he jolted awake and snapped his eyes open, the taxi driver looked at him expectantly and bid him a goodnight after Shizuo had paid the man, and stood on the curb to his apartment.

Rubbing his slightly sore eyes, Shizuo listlessly continued to go towards his own home, wishing he was in the safe, luxurious apartment of another certain author instead.

The elevator jiggled slightly with movement but Shizuo paid it no mind as he entered the contraption and pressed his desired floor, 3.

Not as advanced as Izaya's apartment's, Shizuo counted the jolts in the elevator that told him he had passed a floor.

But what was he going to do now?

He felt so empty… he just didn't want to move.

To stay awake.

To bother eating.

Or drinking.

Or breathing-

Or living.

At that moment, Shizuo wanted nothing more than to sleep his life away, so when the elevator doors dinged open and a panting, shriveled mess greeted him, the first sign of light for the first time that day had entered Shizuo's eyes in surprise.

Panting with his hands on his knees, his lungs struggled for oxygen as Orihara Izaya fought for his life in front of a person who wanted to give up on life.

"I…" Izaya panted, before dropping back down to settling his hands on his knees again. Finally, he had gained a steady ground as Shizuo blinked and stepped out of the closing elevator. Raising his head and connecting their gaze with a thin thread of invisibility, Izaya made direct eye contact. "I did… track athletics in high school," he panted, and Shizuo's eyes widened in realisation that Izaya had run all the way from Shinjuku to Ikebukuro. "You can't possibly escape from me."

And though Izaya was known to have a rather childish side to himself, he had never seen such a face full of hope covered in a pout and tears as Shizuo suddenly seemed like he was at the age of a tender ten year old all over again. Eyes shining and shoulders slouching, Izaya had never seen this side of Shizuo, but accepted it anyway, just as he had accepted the 'monstrous' side of Shizuo. Tugging the taller male's hand along to the door where Shizuo lived, Shizuo covered his tears with the other hand whereas Izaya took the blonde's keys, opened the door, and settled Shizuo into nightwear and put him onto the bed like a child all over again.

With his legs crossed together tightly and bound by his arms, Shizuo waited for Izaya who dressed in front of him without any hint of embarrassment as he regarded Shizuo as a child for tonight, to take care of him and love him when no one else did, and when his mother certainly wasn't allowed to.

Climbing onto the bed, Izaya leaned against the headboard and Shizuo's brain at that point had shut down, and restarted as his ten year old self again as the tears began to flow. Cuddling into the warmth around Izaya's waist-

Heiwajima Shizuo began to cry.

The first time he had cried, in _years_.

Sobs erupted through his tall frame as he curled to make himself appear smaller and Izaya coaxingly stroked his hair and hummed to him.

"It's okay. You didn't know. It's not your fault. Poor Shizu-chan, you had to become a big boy really quickly, didn't you. Even when you were ten years old, you had to mature really fast so that you would never make a mistake like that again, huh? It's okay, you can cry on me now. You're not a monster, or a freak, it's okay. See, look! I'm touching you, I'm near you, I'm not going away. Don't worry. You're not a monster."

* * *

><p>The next morning, as Shizuo woke up to the sun's rays gently kissing his skin, he felt perfectly normal again as he looked up and found himself wrapped in the arms of a certain black-haired author and it was then that he finally accepted-<p>

This man was not just a _friend_.


	9. What Flavour?

_Kicking his feet back and forth from his spot on the wall of concrete, the brunette haired child watched the people pass by, listening to the fading chirps of birds in their nests and taking in the image of mundane business men walking home. Situated on the concrete hedge which decorated the entrance to an elaborate garden park, the boy sat obediently outside of Ikebukuro hospital. He blankly followed the patients who ventured out into the open for fresh air with his eyes, a feeling he could relate to quite well from experience. Watching a particular dark haired boy exit the hospital with his mother, he rubbed his arm, and from the brunette's deduction, he just received a vaccination. Perched on his little high pedestal, he continued to watch the boy whine at his mother for an expensive meal, entranced by the way the ruby eyes that shone with tears quickly merged into excitement. Snippets of the mother and child's conversation could be heard as they passed by the boy perched on the wall that read _'Higashi Ikebukuro Park'_, and the brunette curiously leaned in to listen._

"_Please! I just had that vaccination because of you, mama!" the boy intelligently pleaded._

"_You're a stubborn little boy, you know that? Exactly like your father, Iz-"_

"_-zuo?"_

_Dragging his attention behind himself to the deep, baritone voice that called out to him, Shizuo perked up to see his father had finally finished his shift and was ready to go home with him._

"_Dad!" Shizuo chirped, the 9 year old hopped down from his wall and quickly ran to hold his father's hand._

"_You didn't wait long did you, Shizuo?" the father asked in worry, tightening his grip on his first born son. Shaking his head no, the boy smiled up at his father in assurance as they crossed the pedestrian crossing to make it to the ice cream stand up ahead. Letting go of his son's hand, the routine was welcome to Shizuo as he grinned and watched his father run ahead to the ice cream stand and call from across the courtyard-_

"_What flavour?"_

_And just as the 9 year old laughed and opened his mouth to call out to his father-_

**Ping**.

Opening his eyes groggily, Shizuo raised his head from the pillow from his stomach-down position on the bed, and lazily kept one eye open. Glancing at his bedside table, his orange phone's LED screen lit up, and was flashing consecutively, indicating he received a message. Groaning, he ran a palm down his face and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before huffing and lifting himself up onto his elbows. Grabbing the phone from the table, he flipped it open and nearly forgot to breathe as he saw the sender.

_Sender: AAA Amazing Flea_

_Time: 11:09 AM_

_Subject: Miss me~?_

_I'll give you 47 seconds to roll around and run a hand down your face before I call you._

Not a moment later, the phone rang, and, heart racing, Shizuo picked up without a moment's hesitation.

"_That was fas-"_

"Izaya! How are you, how was the trip?! Are you okay, did you eat well? Did you do a lot there, are you alright? You ate fine right? I-"

Laughter from the other end of the line cut Shizuo off from his little rant, and the blonde was embarrassed for being caught in such an act.

"_Breathe, Protozoan. Your God lives."_

Laughing, Shizuo leaned against the headboard of his bed and ran a hand through his tangled hair.

"Damn. Thought the airplane would've crashed or something," Shizuo chuckled, tugging at the stray fibres that stuck out of his blankets. Short laughter was his reply and Shizuo sighed in content.

He missed that voice.

The arrogant lilt to the voice that could be so deceiving, alluring, and confident.

"_Rest assured, I would have saved the day with my intelligence, had anything happened,"_ the arrogant author chuckled._ "But Shizu-chan, if I didn't know better, I would have said you missed me~"_ the voice teased before Shizuo replied without a trace of hesitation-

"I did." Heart racing and eyes widening, maybe the blonde should have gone for a little less of a direct answer, and gone for a more roundabout way to do it. Silence buzzed through the technology that separated them, until-

"_W-what, I- You can't just say it like that!"_ the author spluttered. Grinning devilishly to himself, Shizuo laughed and questioned why not. _"B-because! You're supposed to be stubborn and unwilling, and deny it while I incessantly imply that you did! You're so anti-climatic stupid Shizu-chan!"_

"Nothing's wrong with missing someone who was gone for such a long time," Shizuo countered lightly, enjoying the way he knew the author's cheeks would colour a pretty, shy red.

"_Sh-Shizu-chan! Besides, I was only gone for three days. Idiot."_

Eyes widening, Shizuo glanced at the calendar hanging on the wall opposite to him, and flinched. Had it really only been three days that the two were separated?

"Whatever. That's 72 hours too long. How was Kyouto?"

"_Eh. Pretty plain. Visited family, they seemed fine without me. It was so boring_," Izaya drawled, and Shizuo assumed from the light, continuous rhythm of a squeak in the background, Izaya was spinning in his office chair again.

"That's not very nice Izaya," Shizuo reprimanded gently, though his tone held absolutely no bite.

"_Sorry, sorry. Oh! Shizu-chan, are you off at 4 today? At Dotachin's café?"_ Raising an eyebrow quizzically, Shizuo quickly stripped himself of his shirt before replying and walking over to his wardrobe drawers.

"Yeah. But I can call in if you want to see me-"

"_No, no! Let's go to a nice café in town I just found out about after your shift! A nice little reunion between intelligence and stupidity personified-"_

"Oi," Shizuo deadpanned, slipping into his white button up and holding the phone between an ear and a shoulder as he dressed for work.

"_Okay, okay, just meet me there at 5!"_

Supplying the blonde with the address, the male on the other line cheered and snickered, taking a jab at Shizuo's intelligence once again as he struggled to talk and put his pants on at the same time.

"_You _sure_ you know where to go?"_

"Yes, goddammit!"

"_Hahaha, good boy! Dream of me while I was gone?" _Izaya chirped. Shizuo furrowed his brows to recount the dream he had earlier that morning, prior to their conversation. _"Di~d you?"_

"No. I did have an odd dream this morning though," the blonde told the male, putting a hand over his chest as a sinking feeling began to drag his heart down.

"_Oh really? Of what?"_ the author asked curiously. Eyes narrowing and glancing in the mirror as he sought to remember the fragments of his dreams that slipped through his fingers, Shizuo walked away from the mirror and answered.

"I can't remember."

* * *

><p>"You seem to be in a better mood today," Kyouhei remarked, a glint in his eye as he tried to hide his grin. He knew very well that the author returned from his trip today.<p>

"Ah, is that so?" Shizuo hummed, setting a glass into the dishwasher before closing the large, industrial washer's lid and activating it with the push of a button.

"Table 3, small cappuccino and mocha!" Erika sang as she walked past and placed the order on a small slab of the high counter. Slipping the paper in between his fingers and whistling, Shizuo stabbed it onto the paper collector and set off to make the two coffees.

"Yeah, you're almost glowing," Kyouhei grinned, patting the man on the back. Embarrassed, Shizuo took a hand off the steaming jug and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I… uh…"

"Lighten up dude, of course you'd be happy if the love of your life returned!" Walker cheered loudly, before backing away from a vein that twitched on Shizuo's face, and a steaming wand that was held by his bare hand.

"I will direct this steam into your eyes if you do that again," the blonde threatened darkly at the fox-eyed male. Kyouhei removed Shizuo's hand from the steaming piece of hot metal and shook his head at Walker behind Shizuo's back. Walker quickly edged away as Shizuo grinded his teeth together and Kyouhei reassuringly pat him on the back.

"Don't worry, the whole group is just excited that… you know… you have feelings for the guy," Kyouhei chuckled.

"Yeah, but it's idiots like him and Karisawa that'll have Izaya find out in no time," Shizuo grumbled.

* * *

><p>Holding the phone in the crook of his shoulder and his ear, a thin, pale skinned man flipped through some files while waiting for the call to connect. Once the ringing had stopped and a deep voice responded to his call, part-time information broker Orihara Izaya grinned and held the phone properly in his right hand as he lifted a factual report up into the air to observe it.<p>

"Ahh, so sorry for wasting your time like this, I know you're quite the busy man. Hm?" Listening to the reply on the line, Izaya nodded and shuffled his papers to align them, and set them back in their labeled manila folder.

"Ah yes, so frank and to the point I see. Very sorry to waste your time. The appointment I scheduled today at 5, I was calling to confirm it?" Checking the time on one of his other phones, Izaya's eyebrows rose, and he let out a laugh.

"How very sharp you are, sir! Forgive me for my impudence," Izaya chuckled darkly at the end, slipping his jacket on and walking towards his front door. "Yes. That's correct. Yes. I will see you soon."

And with a swirl of his fur coat and the click of a door locking, Orihara Izaya left his apartment and prepared to set foot in Ikebukuro.

* * *

><p>Dangling the straw back and forth in between his teeth, Shizuo dully glanced at the time on his wristwatch, and impatiently willed the minutes to tick faster. Perhaps he shouldn't have arrived early, but there was no point in crying over spilt milk. Sighing, he observed the comfy café once again, milkshake in hand, taking in its wooden, homey design with white, round lights hanging at various heights in the ceiling. The booths were seated back to back, a table in between and seats intended for four people per booth, two on each side. The bright lighting and light scent of vanilla essence and coffee coaxed Shizuo's sharp senses and he stared longingly at the cakes on display. From the other side of the cafe, a wide view of Ikebukuro could be seen in its decorative ceiling height windows, and more specifically, Ikebukuro hospital. But Shizuo was not at this cafe for city-viewing, and his patience was wearing thin.<p>

Grumbling, Shizuo checked the time again just to make sure the flea wasn't late.

4:59.

"_Shit_," Shizuo cursed under his breath, frowning as there was no Izaya in sight.

"-Where is that man," two simultaneous voices grumbled at once.

Stiffening in his seat, Shizuo felt extremely awkward and slightly edgy at sharing the exact same words of a stranger. Turning his head to look for the person, Shizuo found that it was an older man who sat right behind him, the two back to back with each other. Judging by the older male's stiff shoulders and tense posture, he found it awkward too. Tall, with graying black hair and a white button up was all Shizuo could see, with the hint of a glasses frame peeking out from between his ear and his hair.

Shizuo huffed and continued to grumble, silently now, as he waited for the raven-haired author to arrive-

"Ahhh, sorry to keep you waiting!" the airy voice came, and Shizuo nearly jumped from his seat to greet the voice he could hear from behind himself. But the voice stopped short and the man dressed in a black v neck shirt, black jeans, and a trendy fur coat stopped to settle down in the chair opposite the man who was sitting behind Heiwajima Shizuo.

"About time. You're-"

"Not late, au contraire monsieur," Izaya hummed, slipping his coat off and raising a hand to gain the attention of a waitress. "I enjoy coming in punctually."

Frowning, Shizuo stood from his seat, stood a metre away from the two, and was about to intervene until the quick eye contact with Izaya's blazing eyes and his own had stopped him. But the moment was brief, and it had passed as the waitress tended to her customer who smiled brightly and ordered an English Breakfast tea for two. Shizuo frowned, but remained standing, completely miffed that Izaya just sat with another man.

What the hell.

"I assume, then, that you're Orihara Izaya?" the older male questioned, leaning back in his chair as an air of authority surrounded him. Shizuo narrowed his eyes and interpreted the guy as a threat, and as he opened his mouth to speak-

"Sir, your hot chocolate?" a kind voice called out, snapping him out of his reverie. Blinking, Shizuo obediently shut his mouth and sat down to enjoy the hot chocolate that was just served.

"Why, yes I am. Pleasure to meet you." A pause. "Heiwajima Kichirou-san."

Dropping the piece of glazed ceramic in his hands, Shizuo blanched at the name that was mentioned right behind his back. Spilling the hot contents everywhere, some waitresses and waiters had come over to assist him, and all the while, as Shizuo saw his father turn his head in his peripherals, he turned his head away and tilted it towards the floor.

_Don't see me, don't see me, don't see me_-

A sharp voice, thankfully, pulled the attention away from Shizuo.

"Attention over here please, Heiwajima-san."

"I apologize. What is the matter you wished to discuss with me personally?"

Sighing in relief, Shizuo went to cleaning the spill he created, apologizing to the amiable staff that promised him another drink for free.

"Oh nothing much, really," the pale-skinned man said airily, waving his hand about. "There were just a few questions I wanted ask about your profession, I hope you don't mind."

"What use would an informant have in asking me such questions?" the doctor asked wearily, lifting the tea that was just served to his lips. Eyebrows shooting into his bangs, Shizuo fought the urge to turn around and interrogate the two until their mouths bled from talking.

_Informant?_

_Izaya?_

_And dad…_

_What the hell are you two doing?_

"I just wanted some information on a particular case from a few years ago… maybe 10, maybe 14."

Eyes narrowing in suspicion, Kichirou glared at the seemingly air head man who only smiled cheerily at his gloomy counterpart.

"I suppose… that's okay. Which case? I've been in this profession for many years, I do not remember patients in particular." And at those words, Izaya's eyes slit open, sly as a fox as he brought a manila file out from underneath the table, and presented it to the older man.

"Oh, but I believe you do."

The next few moments went in a blur as Shizuo jumped in shock and stood away from the raging doctor.

Cups went flying, an enraged doctor stood from his seat, and Izaya was held up by the collar of his thin shirt.

"Sir!"

"Calm down!"

"Excuse us!"

"Iz-" Shizuo began to call out, but was abruptly stopped by the very person himself, as he called out loudly-

"_Nobody_ interfere with this."

Pausing in his spot, Shizuo hesitated, but sat down once again, listening intently. The employees of the café looked on tiredly, but continued about to do their job, despite the slight disturbance.

"Where the _hell_ did you get these photos?" the doctor hissed, tightening his grip. Izaya only grinned, raising his hands in surrender.

"How unlike you, to react so fiercely to a little photo like this."

Had Shizuo been able to see it, he would have seen a graphic photo of his mother, sprawled on the sidewalk with her legs smashed beneath the car he had thrown, blood pooling around her frail form.

"What are you playing at?" the older man hissed. Lifting the collar closer to his face, he seethed at the smoking informant. "What do you _want_."

"An apology."

Slamming a fist onto the edge of the café table, the breaking of wood went unheard behind Kichirou as the grip of the doctor became lax, and the information broker in front of him simply smiled and tilted his head.

"Lovely how I chose a place like this to remain _undisturbed_ and _uninterrupted_," Izaya cooed, indirectly at the doctor, and the sound of wood crumbling and falling apart fell to the deaf ears of the emergency surgeon. Letting go of the damned man, Kichirou breathed deeply and sat in his seat. Izaya too, settled himself calmly and resumed sipping his tea.

"Apology for _what_. I owe nothing to you-"

"Hahahaha!" the informant laughed, throwing his head back and covering his eyes. "Oh no, dear man, not to _me_!" Dropping his hands and glaring straight into the golden eyes of Shizuo's father, the grin on Izaya's lips tugged further, almost maniacal, as he spoke next-

"To your son."

_Pain_ gripped at Shizuo's heart as he let go of the crumbling chips of the table in his hands and tightened his hold on the shirt over his thumping organ. _Izaya, what the hell are you doing_. Curling inwards, Shizuo couldn't describe this hopeless, pitiful, _useless_ feeling as he slumped forwards and listened intently for his father's words. His hands twitched as his heart ached, his breathing quickened, and the muscles in his face twitched and convulsed as tears threatened to escape.

"… I am far too late to fix anything _now_," a quiet voice replied, and Shizuo clenched his fists in response. _I knew it_…

The arrogance in the informant's posture had disappeared, and was replaced by a calm, composed and rather powerful stance as he watched the doctor squirm under his piercing gaze.

"Better late than never."

"How can I ever fix the shit I put him through?" the exasperated voice cried out quietly, Shizuo flinching in shock from hearing his father curse for the first time.

"Apologize," came the simple reply, and the emergency doctor groaned. Shizuo clamped his eyes shut and the fists on his lap tightened as he begged Izaya in his head to stop.

Just stop it.

Stop putting father through this kind of unnecessary treatment.

The man doesn't care anyway-

"You make it sound all so easy, Orihara-san."

"Not everything in this world is easy. But some things aren't as hard as we think," the blocked writer hypocritically smiled.

"I…"

Straining his ears, Shizuo stiffly sat up and begged for his father to speak faster, spit it out, tell him already-

Did he love his own son or not?

"I just…"

Listening intently, Shizuo almost bumped heads with the graying haired man, desperate to hear his words. Izaya watched intently, setting his cup of tea and his saucer down with a clink as he observed the older late forty year old man. Sighing loudly, the doctor removed his glasses and set them down as his fingers came to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"I regret my actions, and I really wish that I hadn't done that back then," the older man began, Izaya nodding his head in mock-understanding. "But I can't fix it now. It's too late. More than a decade has passed, and I still haven't spoken to my son properly since that day."

"Better late than never," Izaya commented smartly once again, crossing his legs and bridging his fingers to settle his chin on his hands.

"It's not that easy young man," Kichirou snapped, narrowing his sharp, golden eyes at the ruby eyes that narrowed in return.

"That boy has grown into a man now. He's accepted this as his life already, but he is not the one who needs to act-

You are."

Silence hung thickly between the two and the hidden one, and Shizuo closed his eyes as he expected a cold rejection from his father, direct or indirect, it didn't matter.

He was used to it.

Just end it.

So as he sat there with bated breath, waiting for his father to say directly to his back, _I hate you_, he would move on afterwards, build on from his life there. But as the doctor's mouth opened and Shizuo's eyes shut tightly to brace himself-

"I just wish I was a better father."

Heart tightening, Shizuo stood abruptly from his seat and swirled around to talk to his father, mouth open and ready to tell him how he felt, until-

_POP!_

Confetti flew as a small popper was held in Izaya's hands and his grin widened.

"Congratulations! Due to you being a very special client of mine, your wish will be granted! But don't miss this one and only chance! Head down to the gate of Higashi Ikebukuro Park right now, and you'll find your prize waiting for you there!" the dark haired man cheered. Baffled, Shizuo stared at Izaya, but the author/informant winked at the blonde, and motioned with his head for the blonde to _get going_.

Eyes widening, Shizuo understood and raced out of the café without another word.

* * *

><p>Toeing his shoe into the gravel and nervously shifting his weight from leg to leg, the blonde haired man watched the Ikebukuronians pass by, listening to the sounds of traffic and taking in the image of mundane business men walking home. Standing by the decorated entrance to an elaborate park, the man stood obediently outside of Ikebukuro hospital. He stood in front of a pedestrian crossing, and he could see a faded blue ice cream cart in the distance behind his shoulder, but Ikebukuro hospital loomed over him in front.<p>

_I don't know how… but this place somehow seems really familiar._

And he didn't know how to describe it, if you were to tell him to put it into words.

He wouldn't quite have been able to tell you, or describe to you, what that feeling was, as the wind blew, the chill had picked up, and something, _instinct_ perhaps, had told him to turn around.

There, standing in his grey-haired glory, was Heiwajima Kichirou, looking tired and exhausted, and holding the most hesitance Shizuo had ever seen in his golden eyes. Almost theatrically, the wind had picked up between them, and his white coat trembled in the breezed as the man tightened the fists at his side. Silence elapsed between the two once the wind had died, and for the first time in 14 years, Heiwajima Kichirou was able to admire how much Shizuo had grown, _without_ his father.

Now he knew what Namiko was talking about every time they spoke about their first born son.

185 cm in height, with toned, muscled features hidden underneath a fashionable coat and slacks, a strong jaw line, high cheek bones, molten, coffee-honey eyes and a crown of rebellious blonde hair tossing about in the autumn wind. But Kichirou knew he was stalling, and the longer he remained silent, the tenser Shizuo became.

What was he supposed to say to his father? How was he supposed to atone for his sins?

His crime?

How could he possibly break down a wall that had been built for over 14 years?

What-

And before Shizuo could break out of the tense moment where a cold sweat covered his palms, and his heart raced beyond normal, his father cleared his throat first, and called out across the courtyard.

"What flavour?"

Heart swelling and breath pausing, memories raced through the tall blonde's mind as he stumbled on his spot and watched, the transition of a younger Kichirou flashing before his eyes to the man that was attempting to be his father once again. The same old ice cream stand stood proudly behind his old man, flashing its worn out lights against a faded blue cart, as Kichirou held a tired, aged smile, sincerely apologizing with this one, nostalgic gesture of kindness.

24 year old Heiwajima Shizuo laughed in nervous relief, and opened his mouth to call out to his father-

"_Chocolate_!"

* * *

><p>Exhausted, but oddly relieved, Shizuo exhaled loudly at the front of his apartment's door and rummaged his pockets for his keys. He felt extremely comforted to know that his father was now on good terms with him again, and his gratitude to Izaya had just increased tenfold. However, just as he had slipped his keys into his lock, he listened intently at the apparent voices behind his door.<p>

He certainly didn't remember inviting anybody over just before leaving.

Nor did he remember leaving the door unlocked.

Slamming the door open, Shizuo raced into his apartment, kicked his shoes off and stumbled into his living room, only to find-

"Ah! I told you Shizu-chan's home!" Izaya cheered, heating his legs up under the kotatsu* while he sipped at his green tea.

But it was not the fact that Izaya was in his home that shocked him and made the air leave his lungs for the second time that day.

It was the person sitting beside him.

"Welcome home… Nii-san."

"Ka… suka."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **fadjawjfafjjafhaj i'm two reviews away from 100

Are you serious guys even though I'm so terrible to you all and update once every TWO MONTHS you guys do this for me ;A;

I LOVE YOU ALL

just before I ramble on a random tangent, let me quickly say-

kotatsu* the heated table that has a blanket covering your legs when you slip it under. y'know the stuff in anime/manga

BUT OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU GUYS 3

REALLYY SORRY I couldn't get back to some of your messages, and I know there are loyal and frequent readers out there that review every chapter, I will personally thank you if you message again, and I will make a better effort to reply to your reviews through email! I'm entering my final part of high school and I'm about to graduate soon and OHMYGOD it's overwhelming, but life goes on, as a friend of mine says.

HOWEVER dear readers if you have read this far i really must huggle you-

I actually don't like this chapter. I had to really force myself just to get this one chapter out, and though I had most of it done, I just kept headbanging my keyboard and hating whatever I wrote. Ironic, I know. A blocked writer writing about someone with writer's block.

Still hate this chapter, not too happy with it, but I will put Shizaya fluff into the next one ;D after Kasuka's settled of course, but that won't take long ;9

**ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STICKING WITH SUCH A USELESS AUTHOR I LOVE YOU ALL 3**


	10. How did You do it?

**A/N:** I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

AND I APOLOGIZE FROM THE VERY BOTTOM OF MY HEART.

WITH MY HEAD ON THE GROUND IN A SINCERE BOW OF APOLOGY.

I am SOOO sorry! It's been FOREVER, almost a YEAR since I've updated and I really do apologize with all the sincerity I can wring from my body! But don't let me keep you, and let me let you continue reading the chapter you've been waiting for! My excuses and huge THANK YOUS AND I LOVE YOUS will be said at the end.

Oh! And just so I don't torture you guys by making you constantly re-reading my story over and over again:

Introduced Orihara Izaya with writer's block Met Shizuo Got sick and taken care of by Shizuo Helped deliver mail with Shizuo and he stayed the night (due to stalker letter which actually held no significance sorry ^^') Sleepover Aquarium date/ Introduction to Shizuo's violence Comforts and stays with Shizuo Shizuo's story/realisation of his feelings Reconciled with dad, now suddenly greeted at home with Kasuka!

There! a really short chapter summary to boost your memory. Now don't let me stop you!

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Feeling a bead of sweat travel down his hairline and past the collar of his shirt, Shizuo swallowed nervously as he fidgeted in his seat, fists clenched on his folded knees. The humming that sounded from the kitchen was accompanied with the little thuds of the chopping board and the bubbles of water that rapidly heated itself in a saucepan on the stove. But none of those sounds eased the awkward tension that existed between him and the young male sitting across him in his living room on the floor, divided by a measly coffee table. He would tell you, if you asked, that he was <em>extremely<em> glad he did not have to initiate conversation first.

"How is nii-san faring?" a monotonous voice asked quietly. Perking up in his seat, Shizuo stuttered a little before answering.

"I-uh, I'm good! I guess… Nothing to complain about, how about you? Is everything alright?" Hardly blinking, as though the movement of his eyes would make the smaller man disappear from his sight, Shizuo waited anxiously for a response.

"Yes, I'm fine thank you." Releasing a sigh of relief he didn't realise he was holding, Shizuo smiled and nodded.

"That's good-"

"Why do you care?"

A clatter from the kitchen sounded right after the question was asked, but Shizuo made no move to check what Izaya had dropped or broken this time. Staring at his brother in shock, the sudden question had caught him off guard.

_Why do I care? Why do I- Goddammit!_

Slamming a fist onto the table, he restrained his strength as much as he could while the emotionless brother of his made no reaction to the sudden small act of violence.

"Because I'm your brother! Of course I would care, Kasuka! You…" Trailing off, Shizuo had nothing left to say, but lowered his tone and removed his fist from the slowly crumbling table as he uncomfortably shifted to a cross-legged position. "Sorry." Through his curtain of blonde locks, Shizuo could see his little brother shook his head.

"No need to apologize nii-san. Your concern is very touching." Blinking in surprise, Shizuo stared at the dark haired male, and smiled when he noticed that the uncomfortable face twitch that involved the tug of a thin set of lips was his brother actually sincerely trying to smile. Albeit painfully, but it was worth a start.

"Boys! Dinner will be ready soon. I assume you'll be staying, Kasuka-kun?" Izaya called out from the kitchen, peeking his head around the corner. Blushing, Shizuo furrowed his brows and watched his brother's response as he replied.

"Izaya, you really didn't have to cook, that was unnecessary, you're a guest."

"Tch, he says that _now_," Izaya muttered with a humorous eye roll as he popped back into the kitchen.

"Thank you for the offer Orihara-san," Kasuka called out calmly, and the red eyed black haired male peeked back out with curiosity. "But I must decline, I'm sorry. I have another flight tonight that I must get going to." Nodding sympathetically, Izaya disappeared from their sights again as he continued cooking.

"That's fine. A busy actor like you has his days. I just expect you to join us next time no excuses!" the jovial tone called out and Shizuo chuckled, feeling a wave of relief wash down his being.

"How have you been, little brother?" Shizuo asked quietly, smiling all the while. Kasuka's eyes widened slightly in shock before a faint tint of pink, _barely_ visible, coloured his high cheekbones.

"I've been… okay… Nii-san." Raising a brow and tilting his head in confusion, Shizuo's gaze became worried.

"Why only okay? Haven't you been eating? You do look a little thin, actually-"

"No, I have been eating, thanks to Orihara-san. He lectured my staff on how they didn't take care of me enough."

"What?"

"I was not used to westernised foods and so Orihara-san had planned an organised diet for myself in America-"

A clang from the kitchen was heard again as Shizuo stiffened in his seat.

"… Where did you two meet?" Shizuo asked, heart racing as his jaw clenched and his eyebrows furrowed downwards.

"America."

"Kyoto, Kasuka-kun! Kyoto!" a nervous laugh lied from the kitchen.

"Ah… is that so?" Shizuo grounded out, glaring in the direction of the kitchen as half a guilty looking face peeked out shyly around the corner. He shifted his gaze and softened his attention back to his brother as Kasuka made a small movement to pull something out of his pocket. Tilting his head to the side in confusion, Shizuo watched as thin, nimble fingers unfolded an aged, yellow piece of paper that was currently shaped into a small rectangle.

And when he saw what was on it, he felt as though he was about to burst from happiness.

Drawn in crayon and coloured in for emphasis, a mother with long brown hair, a father with short black hair and another smaller boy with long black hair all held hands on a grassy hill with a blue sky that totally enclosed the family of three and left no room for a fourth as Shizuo realized-

There, hastily scrawled on top of the blue sky was a fourth figure, a boy with brown hair and slightly taller than Kasuka, a wide smile drawn spread from cheek to cheek.

"After you had seen the drawing… I was very sad at the time. I didn't know it was guilt that had consumed me," Kasuka explained quietly as Shizuo gently held the paper in his fingers, as though it would tear apart if he held it any tighter. "I… I am very sorry Nii-san. I looked up to you, because you always smiled, even if you were in pain, despite the way father and I treated you."

A silence had ensued, and even the sounds of dinner being prepared had stopped as Shizuo gently set the paper down, and watched quietly as his emotionless brother laced his fingers together a little too hard, and a little too tight as they shook on the table. Face down, Kasuka could not remember a time where his heart beat this fast and his stomach felt this tight.

"I understand if Nii-san cannot forgive me. I do not expect to be forgiven." He paused a moment and took in a deep breath, because surely, this was the first time he had spoken so many words outside of his script. "I-"

"Kasuka," his older brother gently cut off. Stiffening slightly in his seat, Kasuka almost strained his eyes to keep his attention solely focused on the intense honey pools of his older brother. His breath caught in his throat as a rough, but gentle hand reached over to ruffle his inky black locks and his heart stopped for a moment as he regained eye contact.

"Wanna see the penguins again together?"

"_Penguins are my favourite, Shizuo-nii!"_

A childish voice echoed in his mind as memories shared from a long, long time ago had resurfaced. Nodding shyly, Kasuka turned his head downwards to hide the heat forming in his cheeks.

Shame, or embarrassment, whatever it was, Shizuo didn't care.

He had his little brother back.

* * *

><p>"So… Kyouto huh?"<p>

Izaya currently had his lips set in a firm, nervous smile as he served the hotpot into two smaller bowls, feeling a cold sweat suddenly overcome his being.

Kasuka had left not too long ago, and to Izaya's discomfort, Shizuo whistled and relaxed comfortably at the turned off kotatsu. He was doing little things, minor things, like inspecting his nails, or observing the cracks in the ceiling, but Izaya was still as scared as _fuck_.

"Yes... I told you I went to Kyouto..." Izaya nodded, shakily setting Shizuo's dinner bowl down until the soup splashed out of the sides.

"Mhmm..."

Silence ensued afterwards between the two, as a steaming hot dinner bubbled deliciously in front of them, but neither bowls were touched.

Simultaneously jumping to their feet at the same time, the smaller of the two ran for his life while the taller blonde chased with a maniacal grin.

"I~zaya ku~n!" Shizuo yelled

* * *

><p>4 days prior<p>

"What? You're going to where?" a bewildered Shizuo asked as he set down Izaya's espresso shot. Nodding his head in a thank you, Izaya willed his beating heart to calm down as he blew and sipped at the coffee and set it back down on the cafe table, not once lifting his eyes away from his laptop.

"I'm going to Kyoto to visit my family members. They reside there, and I moved to Tokyo since I found it too boring over there," Izaya lied easily, shrugging his shoulders but never making eye contact with the still, tall standing blonde. A silent pause settled itself between them as Izaya glanced up at the blonde in the peripherals of his eyes. Tight lipped and staring at a spot intently on the table, the blonde lifted the curtain of hair slightly before asking-

"How long will you be gone for?"

Izaya could still remember the way Shizuo's whole body drooped as he told him his trip was for three days. Almost like a kicked puppy. Settling into his first class chair with a frown, Izaya secured his seat belt and glanced at the screen in front of his seat, stating the flight was a ten hour ride. Sighing, Izaya closed his eyes and slipped the eye mask on top.

_Heiwajima Kasuka... I hope you've been expecting me._

* * *

><p>"Ne ne Shizucchi,-"<p>

"It's Shizuo."

"Why do you look so down today?"

"I'm not down," Shizuo bit out as he poured the cappuccinos into their respective cups for Erika to serve. Glaring at her in the eyes, he rung the service bell loudly several times with the intention of getting the waitress to take the cups and go away. This plan was foiled as Yumasaki walked past and delivered the coffees whilst whistling, leaving Erika to continue staring at Shizuo with her wicked, all knowing smile.

"Ne Shizucchi~ Is it possibly due to the fact IzaIza didn't tell you he went to New York and not Kyoto?"

"Shaddup!" Shizuo said irritably, shoving a tea towel into her face and turning around to clean the benches as he worked. Giggling, Erika swooned and pressed the back of her hand to her forehead.

"I can't take it! The amount of moe is overflowing! To think, he flew all the way to New York to meet your brother at the film set just to fix up your relationship! Ah! The love!"

"Oi!" Shizuo yelled out, a red flush darkening his cheeks. "Shut up! And how do you even know about all this?!"

"Ohohohoho, I have my ways~"

"God dammit Erika-"

"Shizucchi!" Yumasaki called out happily. "Can I borrow your keys for a second? I need it for the cupboard and I seem to have left my own keys somewhere." Shizuo grunted in response and threw the keys over to the fox-resembling blonde, who stared at the keys and its accessories with a quizzical expression. "'I heart New York'... Could this be... a souvenir from Izaiza!?"

"KYAAAAAA!"

"GUYS, SHUT UP!"

"Ehhh~ Your shift's barely started Shizu-chan, and you're already this stressed?" a mocking voice taunted lightly as a feminine high pitched squeal left Erika's mouth.

"Shizu-chan?! Kyaaaa! You even have a nickname for him!? My moe flowers are going to explode!" she gasped, bringing the back of her hand to her forehead and falling into Yumasaki's arms. "True BL love!"

"Karisawa, shut it!" Shizuo snapped before turning to Izaya with a tilted frown. "What is it now flea. Don't you have some deadline that Namie fixed for you-" he was cut off as a stack of white paper, thick as a thumb's width, was dropped onto the counter with a satisfying '_thump_'.

"Proof read by yours truly," Izaya grinned, proudly displaying the redone chapters of his upcoming novel. Eyes wide with shock, Shizuo stared down at the almost blank title page, bound together with the rest of the pages with a simple bull clip at the top. Gingerly, he picked it up to observe the front cover with both hands.

[_Izaya's amazing fantastic upcoming next best seller crime novel]_

_[Orihara Izaya]_

Face melting into a kind smile, Shizuo gently passed the draft back to the grinning author and ruffled his inky black locks.

"Good job kiddo."

* * *

><p><em>Heart thumping rapidly in the thin cage of her body, a thousand butterflies had taken flight in her stomach as her breathing had stopped and her eyes had dilated. Standing before her with a charming smile and a warm hand, she couldn't help but let the endorphins in her body run free and blindly thrust her towards this semi-acquainted man, and put all her trust into his hands. The feeling that pulsed through her blood excited her, and there was no other way to describe this sensation.<em>

_She was in love-_

"Ughhh I can't _believe_ him!" a fuming and fast pacing author cried out in frustration. Walking back and forth behind his living room couch, Izaya fumed and pouted and frowned as he would have delightedly denied the red hue that covered the entirety of his cheeks and nose. "Kiddo? _Kiddo?!_ What does he take me for, a child!? I'm bloody _21_!" Uninterested, Namie brushed her long, dark locks of hair over one shoulder as she continued skimming over the manuscript in her hands on the couch. "Kiddo?! The _nerve_!"

"Shut up for a second!" Namie snapped quickly as her eyes scanned from left to right at an almost alarmingly fast rate. Izaya pouted and sat on the arm chair to Namie's far left as he crossed his limbs and fumed silently. Moments had passed and page after page was turned, and Izaya felt himself squirming with every slight face Namie had pulled during her reading. Fidgeting, his eyes darted back to his editor and back to the coffee table, nerves wracking and palms sweating.

"Na-" Mouth opening to call her name, he immediately shut his lips again as his editor held up a hand to tell him in hand speak to shut up. After agonizingly long moments had passed, Namie sighed loudly in exasperation and threw the papers down to the coffee table. Jolting in his seat, Izaya stared at his editor, wide-eyed and waiting. A slight red tinted the editor's cheeks as she tucked stray hairs behind her ear and mumbled something inaudible. Blinking, Izaya asked.

"Pardon?"

"I said it's alright!" she snapped, tucking her legs underneath herself to the side as she wallowed away in her sulking pride for delivering a semi-compliment to the author. Heart fluttering, Izaya straightened up in his seat as a wide grin enveloped his face.

He was back on track.

Suddenly, his ego and confidence had returned as his legs automatically crossed themselves and his arms settled behind his head, a haughty air of pompousness stiflingly returning. Namie pursed her lips and scowled, but could not hide the small twinge of happiness that escaped into the twitch of her lips.

"About time you realised my professionalism Namie. I think you just overlooked it this whole time and just needed me to put it in a different way for you to understand," he huffed, Namie imagining the nose of his pride extending farther than Pinocchio ever had. Scoffing, she crossed her legs and arms and glanced at him cautiously, wondering how on earth the author had suddenly grasped an understanding of the emotion he had no relation to.

"There's one thing I don't understand though," Namie questioned, the tension in the air thickening as she narrowed her eyes. Izaya blinked and stared at the woman as though she had a third eye growing from her forehead. How dare she question his masterpiece? "How were you suddenly able to achieve this?"

"Well," Izaya began, hooking his elbows onto the back of the chair he sat on. "I began creatively expressing myself through pictures and drawings at a very young age when I had a talent of displaying my imagination through-"

"Idiot!" Namie barked. Izaya hid his flinch and snuffled his nose as he looked partially offended by the editor's snappy attitude. "You know what I mean. A few months ago I had walked out of your apartment saying fix yourself, and you have!" the editor said exasperatedly. Her wary look regarded the author with slight more respect than she had last week, and she did well to hide it. "What did you do? I have to admit, Orihara, you've made me curious." Guard lowering, Izaya lowered his arms to settle his hands on his lap, and fiddled with his thumbs as he interlaced his fingers. Eyes lowered and bangs hooded, Izaya pursed his lips and directed his solemn gaze to Namie.

"To be honest, I don't think I can tell you, even if I wanted to…" he murmured quietly. Raising her brows, she couldn't help but let a peek of her over-caring older sister role show through her concern. "I just… when I was writing this, I… I dunno… it just came to me naturally I guess." Frowning with his response, Namie simply closed her eyes and sighed, seeing that this was going to be the only response she would get from the author. As long as he got the job done she supposed. Standing from her seat, she donned her coat and scarf and grabbed her handbag to head out the door.

"Excellent work Orihara. I assume normal standards and conditions apply now that you've gotten over your writing block?" Namie asked, back turned but head tilted towards the man that didn't move. Startled out of his reverie, Izaya blinked, dazed as he stared at the editor.

"Can… can I give you these chapters slower than usual…?" Izaya asked coyly, and Namie had to double take and take her hand off the handle.

"…_What?_"

"I'm a little more distracted lately compared to… previously," Izaya admitted sheepishly, arms wrapped around his legs which now settled its feet against the edge of the chair. Frowning once more, Namie rolled her eyes and left the author in his dimly lit apartment as the door shut with a resounding click.

Left alone in the silence with nothing to ease Izaya's wariness, he glanced at his phone on the coffee table in front of him and stared blankly.

"_What did you do?"_

Raising his head and staring at the door his editor had just left through, he struggled to calm the turmoil that began to unfurl itself within the pit of his stomach.

_To be honest, I don't know Namie._

_I don't know._

* * *

><p>"I cannot explain to you, Flea, how much I <em>hate<em> those pyjamas," Shizuo bluntly stated, one arm holding a plastic bag full of takeout sushi and the other hand resting firmly on the door frame. Peeking said pyjama head out of the blankets, Shizuo was greeted with black, beady eyes and a large, fluffy head of-

_Cow._

"You're just jealous you can't fathom to be even remotely as adorable as me," Izaya huffed, sticking his tongue out as he wrapped himself into a tucked ball of blankets and farm animal.

"Seriously Flea. You change out of those pyjamas, or I don't give you any of this sushi," Shizuo threatened quietly, lips pulled taut in an angry grimace. Izaya harrumphed and snuggled himself into the blankets further and then suddenly paused.

"Wait. Did you say… sushi?" a small, muffled voice inquired. Though unseen, Shizuo nodded.

"I did." At this response, the cow had risen once again to the surface and licked its lips in anticipation.

"Does that mean… there's _ootoro _in that bag?" he asked feverishly. Shizuo smirked.

"It might."

Slowly unravelling his plush, furry body out of the blankets and tentatively reaching towards the takeout bag, his eyes widened to a comical childish like size with an insatiable curiousity. Outstretching his fingers to his just-barely-there prize, he almost had the fatty tuna-

Until Shizuo took a swift step backwards and startled a hungry Izaya cow.

"PJs. Now. We're going out afterwards."

And with those words, Shizuo slammed the bedroom door in front of the waiting author's face. Exhaling loudly through his nose, Shizuo ruffled his blonde locks of hair and coughed embarrassedly, heading towards the kitchen with their morning breakfast.

Not before he had heard a long, agonizingly painful moo from behind the door, in which he was _sure_ it was done just to spite the blonde even further.

* * *

><p>"Flea…" a frostbitten voice commented, huffs of oxygen crystalising in the air with each breath let out.<p>

"Mmm?" came the response, muffled by a warm (Shizu-chan heat induced), stolen, red scarf.

Currently, the two males were seated on a park bench, watching Ikebukuro life pass by as people chattered, the fountain sprouted its melodic rhythm of water droplets, and listened to the bustling of the city life. One was dressed in a black overcoat that decidedly wasn't enough for this winter, and the other had slipped on a red beanie to match the scarf he had taken from his dear friend.

Heiwajima Shizuo's only wonder was why they were doing all of this _now_.

In the middle of winter.

"What the _fuck_ are we doing?" the blonde bit out angrily through the biting cold.

"Au contraire, monsieur Shizu-chan, we are people watching," the author replied smartly.

"I know that Flea!" Shizuo snapped. "Why are we doing it _here_ and n-now- ACHOO!" Giggling, Izaya simply kept his eyes on the people and leaned back into the icy wooden seat, snuggling into his clothing. Sniffling and turning red faced, Shizuo grumbled under his breath. "Goddammit Flea, the things I do for you…"

"Mmm," Izaya simply mumbled in return. "Oh. Sorry, when you said go out, did you have something else in mind?" Izaya questioned, settling his eyes on a particular old couple that walked together peacefully.

Straightening up in his seat immediately, a breakout of furious red had coloured Shizuo's face and he answered stiffly.

"No. Absolutely nothing in mind. Not at all. Didn't have anything planned." Izaya raised a brow at the seemingly odd behaviour of Shizuo but didn't make any word of it as he continued watching the elderly man laugh and hold hands with his partner. One of those faithful couples that had lasted, he supposed. "Uh, Izaya…" Shizuo began, and Izaya hummed to let him know he was listening. "Y… Y'know… Um…" Narrowing his eyes, Izaya watched as the female of the pair stopped to groom the elderly man, obeying obediently as she finger patted his hair down and fixed his eyebrows. An unknown, uncomfortable feeling began to settle itself inside the pit of his stomach as he continued watching. By his side, Shizuo's mouth kept moving and words kept spouting from those handsome thin lips of his, but Izaya had drifted off in his own mind, and couldn't help but feel…

Angry?

Conflicted?

Why was he so contemptuous towards an elderly couple he didn't know?

Furrowing his brows, Izaya continued to rack his brain for any reason that could excuse his odd behaviour, when it suddenly clicked.

Envy.

_I'm… I'm jealous?_

"-earth to Iza~ya?" a firm voice called out, snapping Izaya out of his reverie.

"Ah, sorry Shizu-chan. I was paying attention, I swear," the author said a little too quickly, blinking his wide eyes. Shizuo had a look of gentle understanding, but a smile that said 'you're hopeless' to go with it.

"Ah~ well. Looks like I'm not cooking dinner for you tonight." At this, Izaya ripped his eyes away from the elder couple that had just disappeared from sight behind a thicket of trees and directed his alarmed gaze to Shizuo.

"What?! Why?!" Shizuo tilted his head back and laughed richly, but for reasons unknown, Izaya's stomach created a nervous mess of itself and his scarf suddenly felt too hot for his neck and face.

"Alright, fine. You do your people-watching thing, and I'll do the grocery shopping, okay?" Izaya settled down at this and nodded, but the fluttering in his stomach wouldn't go away and the heat on his face made him tug uncomfortably at his scarf.

"Come back soon…" Izaya mumbled, and he missed the dark glint in Shizuo's eyes, and it took a moment for him to realise that his world suddenly went dark.

With trembling fingers and nervous, uneven breathing, Shizuo tugged the author's red beanie over his whole face and leaned forward to press the lightest touch of his numb, cold lips against Izaya's cloth covered ones.

_I can't hold back anymore_, the blonde thought warily as he let his body do the talking for once, after forbidding for so long. Stepping back and turning on his heel, he chose not to watch the author cutely flail underneath the beanie and yank it off his fine, black hairs. He heard the younger male say something snappily, but his heart was thundering too fast and his fingers shook within his pockets, _not_ from the cold.

_What are you doing to me, idiot…_

Pouting, the 21 year old male watched Shizuo's retreating form as it head to the supermarkets, and he sank down on his seat, unaware of what had just transpired.

"Stupid Shizu-chan… Making me look like a fool like that-"

"_How were you suddenly able to achieve this?"_ Eyes widening, Namie's voice suddenly flitted back to his ears, and he felt his breathing slow.

"_I have to admit, Orihara, you've made me curious."_ Concentrating, Izaya glared at the pavement in front of him, focusing on what could have possibly changed from his life of writing before, to now. _And why was I jealous?_ he questioned loudly in his own head. He picked apart the scene that replayed in his mind, the smiles and laughter of faces that would soon pass on in their sleep peacefully, and the happiness that radiated off of them. Watching the thicket of trees they had passed by, Izaya frowned.

Old age. Walking. Smile. Laughter. Holding hands. Grooming. Faithful. Love-

_Heiwajima Shizuo_.

At this point, crimson red eyes widened and the nervous fluttering in his stomach became a vice like grip on his innards, stopping his heart in the process. His head racked for a different answer, a more _realistic_ answer, something that didn't make his head spin and the words in his mind tumble too fast-

"_What did you do?"_ Namie's voice inquired, and Izaya fearfully stood from his seat, head spinning and eyes staring blearily at the winter scene ahead of him

_Heiwajima Shizuo happened._

Feeling his feet stagger beneath him, he took a step forward, dropping his eyes downwards to see that his foot landed in the large print of Shizuo's that he had left earlier.

_Heiwajima Shizuo happened to me._

Unused to the several sensations that invaded his body and made his pulse race and his blood boil like never before, unease settled itself into the author's entire being and he held his head for a moment.

_What… am I…_

And the world stilled but his head kept spinning as the sounds of Ikebukuro suddenly stopped and the next words that rang in his head never stopped ringing-

_Am I in love with Heiwajima Shizuo?_

And with that fleeting, but terrifying thought, Izaya ran, leaving a dangling, red scarf to flutter from his neck and settle itself onto the park bench he tore away from.

By the time the snow began to dance its way into Ikebukuro's cold, cold city, Shizuo returned to the spot he had left, with bags of groceries in his hands, heart sinking and eyes devoid of emotion as a foreboding, ominous feeling began to clench his entire being. The seat was empty and the snow was as cold as his heart except-

Save for the one red scarf that rested on the seat, lonely and abandoned.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I'M SOOORRYYYYYYY

ALMOST AS SORRY AS THE CAPTAIN THAT SUNK THE TITANIIIIICC

But in all honesty, I had tried my hardest so many times to get this one chapter up! I was constantly opening and closing the document helplessly, adding a word or changing a sentence but never progressing ;A;

But after coming back to the story every few months, I honestly have to say, it's you READERS who pushed me, that final shove that actually got me going. Reading your reviews and seeing the amount of people that followed me for this story, I just couldn't leave you guys alone. And I am so thankful to you all that stay by this story loyally, despite my lack of updates and such.

During the time I was on hiatus, I finished my university entry exams, graduated from high school, and got a boyfriend.

And got into uni! Which, in itself, was way too hectic, added on top of trying to find a new job (which I have! Yay!) and balancing boyfriend and friends and life and you guys-

T^T

But it's honestly you guys who got this chapter up, and I thank all of you, each and every one of you, for giving me the support I needed.

I will try to keep to my 'update once a month' thing! and especially since I'm on mid year break now!

Thank you so much everyone!

(hearts and hugs)


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